Someone take this woman away from me (Real Life Rant)

[Lilosh]

Originally posted by Draggar
I get "Can I axe you a question?"

You are NOT going to AXE me anything except firewood!

I hear this one too many times from this woman. (Other trainees as well, but I digress)

Today I heard such gems as:

"Sit closer, I see you squinchin at the monitor."
"Now, if the customer asks about one pacific item..." (This woman couldn't pronounce "specific" if her life depended on it. This is another one I hear every 2 minutes)
"Now, These two items look Simu-ler" (Pronounced Sim-You-Lar. This is supposed to be Similar, for those who couldn't tell.)
"To find this telephone number, bring up the company rollerdex"



Please shoot me.

In case you were wondering, Yes. Training is boring enough for me to actually sit down and write the stupid things down as they are said.

-Lilosh

[Draggar]

Originally posted by Lilosh
"Now, if the customer asks about one pacific item..." (This woman couldn't pronounce "specific" if her life depended on it. This is another one I hear every 2 minutes)

Sorry, the only "Pacific" I accept is when they're talking about a big body of water between western North & South America and Australia / Asia.


"Can I axe you a pacific question?"

"What would you like to know about the Pacific Ocean?"

[Draggar]

I should write a "Northern New Englander to English dictionary" since I grew up there...

Words like:
Aye'up
Dem-dare
Juhkantgeetdarefrumhar (split it up, Ju-kant-geet-dare-frum-har)

This guy who used to come to my seafood dept (when I worked at a grocerey store):

"Can I haf somuv dem-dare salmon fillets (pronounced 'fill-its')?"

You should have heard some of the pronounciations of a certain bologna / hot dog (and German sausage) company's name:

Deutschmacher (pronounced Doitch-macher, its german).

Then, there was also Aruccio, Beljoioso, Pechorino.

No wonder most people bought Fenway, Essem, and Kayem franks.

[Grenoble]

Come to think of it, there's a few others...

nucular power, or nucular weapons.....nucular? I've heard of nuclear.....

...goin' to the liberry to take out a book....

...and my own personal downfall, a great actor, but for the life of me whenver I have to say his name out loud...even tho I KNOW how to say it....

...he's Charlston Heston.

/sigh

[GraemeFaelban]

OK, back in 1986ish, in college, I had a general ed Art 101 class taught by a grad student. This was in southern california, and like, she like really, like talked, like you know, like this. Like, gag me with a spoon.

That was probably the most painful class I ever had to take.

[Nhin Impious]

Those are good for a chuckle...the one that irritates me is, "When are you gonna cut my cable back on?" or, while troubleshooting, "cut the tv on now?"

Honestly! The usage of "cut it on" and "cut it off" are a Deep Southern variant of "turn it on" and "turn it off." And think about it, does any one of us actually TURN a knob/dial/switch in rotary motion to power up or power down our computer, tv, or cable? "Cut" in this variant means to use a distinct linear movement with an abrupt termination-- think of turning on or off a breaker, or one of the old-style flip switches that makes an audible "click!"

You folks may not have noticed, but there was a distinct switchover in the mid-90's in computer instructions and phone menus from "press the key" to "touch the key"; seems they were afraid that people would use a little too much pressure. They need not have feared; for my Mississippian relatives, who use the exact same touch on the keyboard I do (and speak moderately good Spanish), the phrase which sent you into orbit would probably be "Mash the till-day key"... I used to spend extra time asking people what they were doing (when I was a tech) just to hear them say they were "mashing" various keys.

Also, in this same regiolect, the fluffy creamy potato dish is not "mashed" potatoes but more precisely "whipped" potatoes. Mashed potatoes are simply crushed with a hand tool called a potato masher, and whipped potatoes are prepared with an electric mixer (and the addition of milk and butter). Well, I guess given that example that I see their point... who knows what those crazy Yankees might do if they were told to mash something? Goodness, look what they did to iced tea..

Nhinx Aphsion
who thinks Qeynos Afternoon Tea should have two cups of sugar

[Lling]

Re: Someone take this woman away from me (Real Life Rant)

Originally posted by Lilosh
The brainpower of Broccoli, mixed with the communication skills of Jar-Jar.

-Lilosh

Priceless.

[Lilosh]

Thanks, Ling. I was hoping someone noticed that line. :-)


Today's gems include:

"What else type of questions do ya'll have?" (And I use the word "ya'll", so I'm not picking at that.)

"Now, this guy's balance moves a lot. With his balanced being fluctuated, his account...." (BEING FLUCTUATED? Try "With his balance fluctuating....")

"With the way this system works, you will only be able enough to see their name."


GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. One more day with Mrs Ralph Wiggum(Not her real name, obviously), and then the only time I have to see her is when she is supervising me on the phones... for the rest of my employment....


Lilosh (Me fail English? That's un-possible!)

[Leysa]

...and my own personal downfall, a great actor, but for the life of me whenver I have to say his name out loud...even tho I KNOW how to say it.......he's Charlston Heston.

Don't feel bad. You know that nice ham and turkey sandwich that's deep-fried, sprinkled with powdered sugar and dipped in raspberry preserves?

I forever called it: Monte Crisco

[Draggar]

I pahked my cah down in Havahd Yahd, its neah the watah. Then, I went to the bah, and had a nice Sam Adam's beeah.

Aye'up, aye'up, aye'up.

Hey! I've got an idear! Lets all tahk about thah wah in Iahak and find dat Sadderm Hussayn.

AYe'up, aye'up, aye'up.

Den, we can go to the concaht down at thah town lawhn and listen to an elergy (its elegy, BTW) by that young'in Bach.

AYe'up, aye'up, aye'up. Can't get good entahtainment anymoah like thaat.

[Chenier]

Originally posted by Lilosh
Typos are a different matter.

That one escaped me. :-(


-Lilosh

You mean "ex-caped" you?

/duck
/flee!

I'm on the board of directors for a local group of quilters (I know, sounds very Betsy Ross - I really do sew a lot in real life). Anyway, during one of the board meetings, they were discussing taking down the website (which is ill-used, poorly designed, etc.)

Anyway, they kept saying "crash the website". As in "I really think we need to crash the website..." or "Even if we crash the website, we'll still need to pay the web designer."

I finally had to speak up "Sorry folks, but you should know: it's not "crashing a website" - it's just "take down a website".

They thanked me and continued right on using "crash". /sigh

[kiztent]

You misspelled y'all, Lilosh. It's a contraction of "you all" so the apostrophy replaces the dropped letters, hence, y'all.

[Draggar]

Djyaeetyet?

Uh.

Djumpto?

Uh.

[Velurian]

apostrophy

Intentional, or just a demonstration of the axiom that every post pointing out a spelling error must contain one itself?

[Saleani]

Intentional, or just a demonstration of the axiom that every post pointing out a spelling error must contain one itself?

eye woodnt no, im laffing to hard. lol