Aaaaugh answer me!!

[Verdandi]

Am I the only one who absolutely HATES it when you're talking to someone online (in EQ, instant messaging, whatever) and ask them a question and they ignore it? They respond to most of what you're saying but ignore the rest? Oh I know sometimes, especially in EQ, there are distractions, but I also know plenty of times it's happening when that's not a problem. I'll ask two questions in a tell to someone and they answer one of them and then proceed with the conversation. Not just once in a while, but on a very regular basis? Am I the only one who finds this absolutely infuriating?? Or is what I say just especially forgetable?

*pants*

There I feel better.

[Cantatus]

Is this a rant about me?

[Sanna]

/agree. in one conversation, in the space of 30 min, I asked piff what day she was coming back after christmas break. she very specifically did not answer. then, she comes back highly unexpectedly, while i was still cleaning room, before i had finished.

doh.

sometimes i guess there's a reason for not answering ..... but yeah, when it happens a lot, even with unrelated people....


grr...

-- Sanna

[Sylphan]

Oh gosh yes... I so hate when my questions are ignored online.

It's frustrating when a person in group listens to 90 percent of what you say then ignores a question directed right to them by name. Or if you ask 'did you cheat on me' they might respond with 'is that a new shield?' as if changing the subject will make you forget what you asked. But I think I'm just not hip enough to understand the between-the-lines message conveyed by their silence.

It happens all the time... I've come to the conclusion that it's my problem, not theirs. It's a conversational style. Answer questions when you have a strong opinion or have some information, stay silent when you don't. Staying silent is also used to avoid topics you'd rather not reply to.

Rather similar to the way we post on some strings on a message board but ignore most others. Or just watch the text scroll by in serverwide.eqtraders but only occasionally say something. But they do it even in a continuing conversation, when you have their attention.

BTW, it doesn't only happen online. Teenagers have been doing it for years. They often just ignore parts of the conversation, including direct questions, that are boring or uncool or difficult... or that they want to ignore for whatever reason... and move on to the next topic. It's quite effective at smoothing over awkward points and avoiding arguments... I expect it's going to really catch on. Then you'll get to be ignored all the time, everywhere... by coworkers, cashiers, friends... everyone you meet, even when they're not talking on a cell phone.

[sumamael]

Well there can be other reasons, I have a few guildmates who get RL distractions regulary (his children are running around screaming in his room for example) and they regulary skip half of my questions because they simply don't see them.

But I agree I don't like to talk to people who choose to ignore questions if they don't feel like answering.

Funny because this caused me a lot of problems when I started to play with american folks regulary so I shruged it off saying that this must be a cultural difference and I need to be more tolerant, Now I start to catch myself doing the same to my co-workers

[bearcaller]

Originally posted by sumamael
Funny because this caused me a lot of problems when I started to play with american folks regulary so I shruged it off saying that this must be a cultural difference and I need to be more tolerant, Now I start to catch myself doing the same to my co-workers

You are right about it being a cultural difference. I can't speak for many cultures but for Japanese at least it is acceptable to remain silent instead of answering a question you either don't know the answer to or just don't want to answer.

Americans (such as myself) need an answer (even just "I don't know") just to confirm that you did indeed hear the question and are paying attention to us.

[lonewylfe]

Well, also, in real life, you do get some acknowledgement that the question was heard...even if it's just silence, there's usually some body language that says hey, I heard you, I just can't answer. *shrug*

But yeah, it is annoying in game to ask a question, esp in a channel, and have nobody answer you.

[Thicket Tundrabog]

Boy oh boy... I get to be the contrarian... Lol

Don't you just hate it when you are in a close LDoN adventure, your main tank has been dispelled for the third time (and demands a rebuff), someone calls you on the phone, and someone is ticked off because you didn't respond to their question about components for a darkwood bow combine?

I don't get annoyed when people don't answer me.

I do get annoyed when people expect answers to their comments.

I've actually set up hot keys with most standard answers. These include,

"Woot, congrats"
"Bummer"
"I'm kinda busy. Can we talk about this later?"
"Shrug"
"Nod"

and a commonly used one,

"I don't know. You might check EQTraders."

Unfortunately, people still get annoyed. After hearing "Woot, congrats" and "Bummer" a dozen times, they realize it's a hotkey. Clicking a button isn't a personal enough response for their attention needs.

I wonder what the baking trivial is for "stir the pot" ? Hehe.

Thicket

[sumamael]

Originally posted by bearcaller
You are right about it being a cultural difference. I can't speak for many cultures but for Japanese at least it is acceptable to remain silent instead of answering a question you either don't know the answer to or just don't want to answer.

Americans (such as myself) need an answer (even just "I don't know") just to confirm that you did indeed hear the question and are paying attention to us.

Well I meant that european players do this less (they less likely to ignore a direct question) than their american counterparts in EQ, if they speak in their own language but the opposite can be true if the language barrier is too big of course.

I agree with Lonewylfe that you can usually get a response via non-vocal communication in RL (ie body language).

[Verdandi]

Thicket, I have absolutely no problem with people telling me "sec" when they're in the middle of something. It tells me "hey, I saw you said something but I can't reply to it right now, I'll talk to ya later". I do that all the time to other people when I'm busy. I also don't answer the phone during ldons or raids, that's what answering machines are for. What gets me is when I'm in the middle of a conversation, chatting back and forth, and they just ignore questions selectively. They respond to what I said before and after that and ignore that bit. It just gets under my skin! Am I so unimportant that you can't even be bothered to acknowledge the words I just said? Grrrr!

But no, Cant, I didn't mean you. I just repeat things to you cause I'm impatient.

[Thorvari]

for some people it could be that they missed what you said. I have 4 windows open for various rates of spam:
1. Combat messages/OOC/Shout - fastest scroll
2. Hits - Fast scroll
3. Guild/Group/Chat channel - medium scroll
4. Tells - almost no scroll

Some people have only 1 chat window, and I am amazed that they can actually see any of the messages that actually do scroll past, especially during combat.

For me, if I get a tell it stays on my screen for quite a while...some people it scrolls offscreen before they even know it existed.

[Tweedledea]

Half the problem is poor use of language or lazy punctuation! I'm falling into some peculiar syntax myself.

'Did you go to PoF?' - question
'You go to PoF?' - sloppy syntax, but still a question, just...
'You go to PoF' - statement? question? order? what the hell is it supposed to mean?

I've seen people get angry in channels - 'Why won't anyone answer me? Seems no-one's interested, logging, laters' because no-one understood that they were EXPECTED to answer.

But I know where you're coming from.

On the other hand... how many of us have been asked a question, given the answer in idiot-proof language consisting of words of few syllables, then been asked the same question again, as if we hadn't said anything?

Selective blindness! That's the key!

[Elyssanda]

On the other hand... how many of us have been asked a question, given the answer in idiot-proof language consisting of words of few syllables, then been asked the same question again, as if we hadn't said anything?

oh man.. we have one of these people in our guild... days like today it's really bad. He installed Ldon. then asked what to do.. OK. Fine we told him.. step by step. we explained everything, and by we, I mean at least 4 of us were helping him. we walked him through it with short simple answers.. go here. do this.

then for the next 2 hours he kept asking the same questions about it. OMFG get a clue!

[Lilosh]

Originally posted by Tweedledea
Half the problem is poor use of language or lazy punctuation! I'm falling into some peculiar syntax myself.

'Did you go to PoF?' - question
'You go to PoF?' - sloppy syntax, but still a question, just...
'You go to PoF' - statement? question? order? what the hell is it supposed to mean?

I've seen people get angry in channels - 'Why won't anyone answer me? Seems no-one's interested, logging, laters' because no-one understood that they were EXPECTED to answer.

But I know where you're coming from.

On the other hand... how many of us have been asked a question, given the answer in idiot-proof language consisting of words of few syllables, then been asked the same question again, as if we hadn't said anything?

Selective blindness! That's the key!

Amen. People come in and link an item with nothing else but a question mark. "Water Flask?". And when I respond with "No thanks, I already have one!" they get upset. If people can't be bothered to ask a question why should I bother to answer?

*grin*


And then, on your last point, there was the time when someone insisted that they needed to know where to buy "A small piece of enchanted clay" for the druid epic(which is not purchased), and I told her the basic steps involved in the QUEST. She repeated the question for an ungodly time, and then got rude when we started telling her to be quiet and read. :-)




-Lilosh

[Tweedledea]

'Do you lose the quill when you combine, or do you get it back?'
'Yes'