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*note* this is not a primal scream, but im not sure where else to post it.
SCENE: A desolate battlefield. On one side are a plucky group of rebel troops, hiding behind some barbed wire and sandbags in a makeshift bunker. On the other, a large industrial complex, surrounded by chain link fence, guard towers, and with a big statue of Fippy Darkpaw outfront with a sign that says "Sony Online Entertainment".
COMMANDER is laying on his stomach talking into a walkie talkie. He is of average height and build, weiring desert camoflauge and a helmet that says "Got SoW?"
CMDR: Darn it seargent, I dont care how much it costs, my druid needs that pet spell! Got it? Good. Over and out.
PRIVATE enters, holding a clipboard and looking unhappy
PRIV: Um... commander?
CMDR: Not now private, I'm busy.
PRIV: But sir, this is kind of important.
CMDR: Private, we're in the middle of a major offensive here. We have them on the ropes. Theres reports that they're about to announce that the inventory graphic for Essence of Dol is wrong. This could be the break we've been waiting for!
PRIV: Sir, you really need to know about this. It's about... Niami.
CMDR: What did I- well why didnt you say so? Out with it private, whats the good word from the Denmom?
PRIV: Well sir, ysee, she um...
CMDR: Yes?
PRIV: She's stopped fighting, sir.
*silence*
PRIV: Commander?
CMDR: Private, this is no time for games. I'm very busy right no-
PRIV: It's no game sir, Niami has stopped fighting.
CMDR: WHY THAT... THAT... URGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
PRIV: You're salivating, sir...
CMDR: AND DID THAT HALFING GIVE A REASON FOR THIS TREASONOUS ACT?
PRIV: Well, actually, sir, she did. Lets see... "Rants have degenerated to mindless bickering... People are demanding things she cant possibly deliver..."
CMDR: YES, BUT-
PRIV: "...People have been sending her personal attacks... she's had to retire he character because of said attacks... people are complaining when anything gets done as much as when nothing gets done..."
CMDR: Well, er-
PRIV: "...Board rules are being violated left and right... there's-"
CMDR: That's quite enough, private.
PRIV: Sir?
CMDR: Call the troops, private, we're withdrawing.
PRIV: SIR?
CMDR: That was an order, private.
PRIV: But, but sir, the men are going to want a reason for this withdrawl, sir.
CMDR: Tell them we cant spare the man power out here, private. It's gonna take a lot of able bodies to put on the kind of party we're going to throw for the Denmom. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to find the world's biggest "I'm sorry" card.
PRIV: Yes sir.
SCENE: A desolate battlefield. On one side are a plucky group of rebel troops, hiding behind some barbed wire and sandbags in a makeshift bunker. On the other, a large industrial complex, surrounded by chain link fence, guard towers, and with a big statue of Fippy Darkpaw outfront with a sign that says "Sony Online Entertainment".
COMMANDER is laying on his stomach talking into a walkie talkie. He is of average height and build, weiring desert camoflauge and a helmet that says "Got SoW?"
CMDR: Darn it seargent, I dont care how much it costs, my druid needs that pet spell! Got it? Good. Over and out.
PRIVATE enters, holding a clipboard and looking unhappy
PRIV: Um... commander?
CMDR: Not now private, I'm busy.
PRIV: But sir, this is kind of important.
CMDR: Private, we're in the middle of a major offensive here. We have them on the ropes. Theres reports that they're about to announce that the inventory graphic for Essence of Dol is wrong. This could be the break we've been waiting for!
PRIV: Sir, you really need to know about this. It's about... Niami.
CMDR: What did I- well why didnt you say so? Out with it private, whats the good word from the Denmom?
PRIV: Well sir, ysee, she um...
CMDR: Yes?
PRIV: She's stopped fighting, sir.
*silence*
PRIV: Commander?
CMDR: Private, this is no time for games. I'm very busy right no-
PRIV: It's no game sir, Niami has stopped fighting.
CMDR: WHY THAT... THAT... URGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
PRIV: You're salivating, sir...
CMDR: AND DID THAT HALFING GIVE A REASON FOR THIS TREASONOUS ACT?
PRIV: Well, actually, sir, she did. Lets see... "Rants have degenerated to mindless bickering... People are demanding things she cant possibly deliver..."
CMDR: YES, BUT-
PRIV: "...People have been sending her personal attacks... she's had to retire he character because of said attacks... people are complaining when anything gets done as much as when nothing gets done..."
CMDR: Well, er-
PRIV: "...Board rules are being violated left and right... there's-"
CMDR: That's quite enough, private.
PRIV: Sir?
CMDR: Call the troops, private, we're withdrawing.
PRIV: SIR?
CMDR: That was an order, private.
PRIV: But, but sir, the men are going to want a reason for this withdrawl, sir.
CMDR: Tell them we cant spare the man power out here, private. It's gonna take a lot of able bodies to put on the kind of party we're going to throw for the Denmom. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to find the world's biggest "I'm sorry" card.
PRIV: Yes sir.
~ 
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