It's not an addiction!

[Quinner Sparrowhawk]

/rant on

I am sick and tired of what I find to be enjoyable being called an obsession or addiction. Why do others have to be so bothered by me wanting to play EQ instead of watching some sappy movie for the umpteenth time? Why is there so much stigma attached to playing computer games? Would it be better if I spent the morning hitting a little white ball, chasing after it and hitting it again to make it fall in a little hole?
Why is it selfish of me to want to play and not selfish of anyone else when they demand my attentions to do what they want? It just seems to be so unfair.

/rant off

[Heartsong_Steelsoul]

Hey, I agree with you. We have the same problem convincing people that it's better that we're in some little room playing Live Action Vampire than in a bar somewhere getting plastered on a Friday night.

[Sebilrazen]

Bolds are mine for emphasis

I am sick and tired of what I find to be enjoyable being called an <b>obsession or addiction</b>. Why do others have to be so bothered by me wanting to play EQ instead of <b>watching some sappy movie for the umpteenth time</b>? Why is there so much stigma attached to playing <b>computer games</b>? Would it be better if I <b>spent the morning hitting a little white ball, chasing after it and hitting it again to make it fall in a little hole? </b>
<b>Why is it selfish of me to want to play and not selfish of anyone else when they demand my attentions to do what they want? It just seems to be so unfair</b>.

Most people call it an obsession or addiction because of the few people that have developed addiction responses to the stimuli of the game, the same circumstance occurs when a person who doesn't normally smoke is seen on 2 sequential instances smoking a cigar; the individual witnessing this will assume that the person is now a full blown smoker, never mind the fact that 'x' amount of time passed between sitings without a single puff...they develop the conception that the person is addicted to smoking cigars.

I'll assume that the person calling you obsessed or addicted to the game is the same (or one of the) individual(s) that wanted to watch the movie. For the umpteenth time(I assume this is larger than 10 times) Perhaps the movie is an addiction or obsession then? I mean once you see the movie and realize the plot structure, the acting strength and the general feel of the movie(don't get me wrong I love movies, i've watched several over 20x each). The reason people continue to watch movies, read books, play video games, etc. is they like the audio visual stimuli, the emotions/feelings elicited.

Stigma for computers specifically comes from them being inorganic in nature(imho)...all other forms of diversion are in some way organic in nature, books are paper, drugs(alcohol and tobacco), and even films(can be debated since SW: Episode 2) are all at their root organic.

Techinically, unless you're in peek condition athletically then yes you wandering around aimlessly trying to hit a little ball in a little hole, just to do it 8 to 17 more times before your game is done, would be better for the sheer physical benefits. But I divulge, I hate golf, you couldn't make me play, unless I could aim at the local 'Pros' when driving then i'd play daily once the snow melts

The selfish factor is beholden, your time is a variable of the function of your wants and needs, theirs is a variable of theirs, if your participation in their activities is a good portion of their function of enjoyment, then they are placing a premium on your time as well, making it doubly valuable to both of you, you trying to find an enjoyable use for your time, them for finding an enjoyable use of their time using your time as a seed variable for their enjoyment producing function. The only win win situation would be to find something equally enjoyable for the both of you, or more specifically enjoyable for them but twice as enjoyable to you to balance the equation.....just my theory

[Verdandi]

I put a lot of the blame on the news media. You hear about every single act of violence or erratic behavior that might remotely be related to someone's activity on the computer or video games. A crime committed by someone who doesn't spend time online will go unremarked because it happens all the time, but when committed in identical circumstances by someone who plays online, it becomes another shining example of the dangers of online addiction. Take that ridiculous story Dateline (or 48 Hours or whoever it was) did about addiction, including the segment about Everquest. That was the most biased piece of reporting I have seen in a long time, although I don't watch US reporting much anymore so that might not be saying much. For every one of the people with major problems they featured, we could have given them thousands of players who are leading perfectly normal lives. For every Ben Stein blaming Everquest for his inability to teach his son self-control, there's thousands of parents of teenage EQ players who are able to handle it just fine themselves without shipping their kids away to boarding school. We could also have given them tens or even hundreds of thousands of examples of people with the same abnormalities who don't play. But who wants to watch that?

Stories about drama and danger get viewers and ratings and therefore money. Discussions of dangers are healthy whenever a new phenomenon comes on the scene, but we should be long over that. At this point it's just sensationalism.

*shakes her head in disgust and tunes back into the BBC World Service*

[Delfontes]

The first step is admitting you have an addiction.


1. If you have ever cancelled plans, or avoided going out with friends so that you could attend a raid or tradeskill... you're addicted.

2. If your non-EQ friends are forgetting your name, and your wife/girlfriend hates the name EQ, you're addicted.

3. If you're at work, and you're posting on an EQ message board instead of actually working.... you're addicted.

4. If you've ever dreamt about EQ or planned what you are going to do on EQ while doing something completely different, you're addicted.

Get over it, stop playing, keep playing, but denying it is pointless.

[Sebilrazen]

[quote="Delfontes"]3. If you're at work, and you're posting on an EQ message board instead of actually working.... you're addicted.[quote]

what if you post during a sanctioned break?....then again that may be construed as a 'smoke/coffee' type break which are undoubtedly addictions for many....it's tough to determine the status and existence of non physical addictions, the fact that I'm posting on the message boards while at school instead of constructing various header files and classes for my c++ assignment could mean that
a) I'm addicted to EQ, (not likely i'm thinking(seriously) about cancelling my account and not moving to another game, just focusing on my web design and writing

b) i'm addicted to message boards(a possibility)

c) i'm addicted to arguing (also a possibility)

d) i'm not addicted to anything(falls into the denial paradox, if you aren't addicted and say you aren't who's to believe you?)

[Aoladari Raveynfyre]

What if I'm done with my work and posting to EQ messageboards?

Seriously I work from 9:30am to 6pm and I get done before noon (for the most part) and if it's busy I'm done by 2 or 3.

[Mahlig]

Hey, I agree with you. We have the same problem convincing people that it's better that we're in some little room playing Live Action Vampire than in a bar somewhere getting plastered on a Friday night.

There is nothing better than being in a bar getting plastered on a Friday night.

Actually, my GF loves that I stay at home and play EQ. At least she knows I am not at some bar getting plastered on a Friday night.

[Verdandi]

1. If you have ever cancelled plans, or avoided going out with friends so that you could attend a raid or tradeskill... you're addicted.

2. If your non-EQ friends are forgetting your name, and your wife/girlfriend hates the name EQ, you're addicted.

3. If you're at work, and you're posting on an EQ message board instead of actually working.... you're addicted.

4. If you've ever dreamt about EQ or planned what you are going to do on EQ while doing something completely different, you're addicted.

Delfontes, I'm curious where those indicators are from. They seem awfully broad to me. If more than one or two of the above happen frequently then perhaps I could see it, but to say that one instance of any one of them means you're addicted seems a bit too loose.

I've cancelled plans to watch a TV special. It was a few years ago and hasn't happened since, and I'm quite certain I've never been addicted to television. I've dreamt of all kinds of crazy stuff, including showering. Am I addicted to showering? I plan running my errands or vacation preparations when I'm doing something completely different, does that mean I'm addicted to running errands or going on vacation?

I think what really matters is how much importance EQ takes compared to things that compete with it for time. Is it always more important than loved ones? Than work? Than your previous hobbies? That's what those indicators seem to be aiming for, but with the scope set a wee bit too broad.

It's going to be different for everyone. It's probably not acceptable for a working parent of young children to play 6-8 hours every day. But an unmarried retiree may be able to do that without shirking any RL responsibilities or social life.

[Quinner Sparrowhawk]

The first step is admitting you have an addiction.


1. If you have ever cancelled plans, or avoided going out with friends so that you could attend a raid or tradeskill... you're addicted.

2. If your non-EQ friends are forgetting your name, and your wife/girlfriend hates the name EQ, you're addicted.

3. If you're at work, and you're posting on an EQ message board instead of actually working.... you're addicted.

4. If you've ever dreamt about EQ or planned what you are going to do on EQ while doing something completely different, you're addicted.

OMG - I'm addicted to having a thousand naked women screaming and throwing little pickles at me while I'm standing is sort of sun-god robes on a pyramid!

Seriously though, I've done 1 and 4 in relation to my job and I would not call working an addiction. I think the term is too quickly applied and bandied about. EQ is what I would chose to do at home to unwind instead of watching television. If not for the demands of others on my time, I would be out more often doing the volunteer work I used to do before my current enslavement.

[Delfontes]

ok, from M-W.com:

Addict:

1 : to devote or surrender (oneself) to something habitually or obsessively <addicted to gambling>

Now, go online and type /play

I would have to say that qualifies as habitually and obsessively. To me it just doesn't matter, but I don't deny that I am addicted.

Quinner, might want to edit where your Quotes start and end BTW, I was confused as to which part was quoting me there

[Lilosh]

The first step is admitting you have an addiction.


1. If you have ever cancelled plans, or avoided going out with friends so that you could attend a raid or tradeskill... you're addicted.

2. If your non-EQ friends are forgetting your name, and your wife/girlfriend hates the name EQ, you're addicted.

3. If you're at work, and you're posting on an EQ message board instead of actually working.... you're addicted.

4. If you've ever dreamt about EQ or planned what you are going to do on EQ while doing something completely different, you're addicted.

Get over it, stop playing, keep playing, but denying it is pointless.

The first two are fairly decent.

The second two are bunk. Maybe if ALL you dream about is EQ, or if you post here to the exclusion of all your work duties, then perhaps it's time to consider it an addiction.


But people slacking at work by posting to a message board != addiction.


-Lilosh

[Grozza]

people slacking at work by posting to a message board == the status quo

Haven't you ever noticed that you get many more post to almost any message board during regular business hours than you do over say a typical weekend?

[Cubwynn]

The term addiction has been bandied about carelessly for a long time now, usually by people attempting to avoid placing responsibility on themselves (very typical in todays society). People seeking to label EverQuest as an addiction are people who basically say, "I need to blame someone else for my lack of self-control".

The real issue at play is that people have no respect for computers. If I elect to read a trashy novel or watch television, no says anything... but if I play on my computer, suddenly I'm an addict? *boggle* How is reading a book any different that browsing a website?

The one thing that always frosts me, however, is television. I don't watch television... haven't since college. I think it's an utter waste of time, passively watching someone else's thoughts and being manipulated mentally and emotionally. Can't stand the bloody thing (with the exception of some documentary channels, etc., i.e., educational). My bastard ex, on the other hand, was a slack-jawed television-obsessed idiot. I explained (many, many times) that I don't like watching television, and still he would complain about me spending time on the computer. Finally, I gave in and sat there with him. It took me just a few days to realize what he really wanted.... he wanted me to watch him watch television. And I refused (thank goodness... rat bastard).

I think the reason that computers are demonized is that they can isolate and fully engross someone. Perhaps it's some type of control issue... people want to be able to interrupt you *pay attention to me, ******!* at their whim.

Or maybe i'm just bitter... :-p

[Delfontes]

Continuing the Devils advocate theme...

There are thousands of messageboards and millions of web sites people can go to to waste their idle time at work.

I'd still say spending hours while not playing the game talking with other people that play the game about the game you're not even playing... would qualify as an addict.