The Most Dreaded /tell Phrase

[splunge]

...the halfling turns to me.
"SOW please"

Yano, theynever has for HP buffs, regen buffs.. stuff that will.. you know.. keem them from DYING..

All they want is sow.. and they spend SO much time looking and begging in some broken language that only 'special people' like themselves understand, that, if they had just started running instead of begging, they would have been wherever they are going FAR sooner.

I just tell people to go make a shaman if they want buffs nowadays.

[Kakg]

From my book of obnoxious tells - received out of blue while sitting in PoK with LFG flag up.

"Come to BB"

That's it.

No, "Hello, how would you like to join us for a group in LDoN?" or "Hi, would you like to go grind some XP in OT?"

Just a flat, ignorant order.

You can bet that person did not get the sevices of this chanter on that occasion

[Itek]

... Blank tells you: "Are you busy" (or "Can you help me" either way)

*Itek ponders The_Big_Red_Button*

Itek: Um, not really, just (generally goofing off)
Blank: Can you enchant X of Y for me?

Blank: Can you tell me how ...

Blank: Can you show me where ....

Blank: Can you give me ...

I usually don't mind explaining stuff I know, but the longest I had a "can you tell me how" conversation lasted the length of time it took me to corpse run from PoK to SSra Temple.... twice. (don't ask, but it involves a cleric who wouldn't let me EB them and a flaky connection)

I used to never go /role (I've NEVER been /anon) except once my former guild started requiring it for active raids. (There were 3 guilds about our same level that actively set out to claim jump us, because we were extremely slow in getting guildies to the raid zone. Surprising since half the guild was or had 50+ druid characters.) I still got requests for teleports. Name 3 wizards you have seen wearing "the robe of the ishva." (the only thing that looks REMOTELY like the Insidious Robe I wore for... *mumble*wiggles fingers* ... *ahem* a -long- time ... *hides face in shame*)

[Taushar]

One of my favorite. I was in a zone (can't remember which) minding my own business. Mind you, I was in my full green plate, with my shield and Cleric epic in my hand. A halfing comes up to me asks me "can you KEI me please?" I just about fell over. I thought this was a newbie didn't know what KEI was, clicked on him, light blue to me, which means at least like level 46. My reply to him was "do you see this whole set of plate armor on me and my epic in my hand?" His response "I was told the Clerics can cast KEI." Definitely a ebayer.

Another good one was on my Chanter. Again, standing there with minding my own business in my beautiful blue/green robe. A level 20 Warrior comes up to me and asks "can you buff me plz, my HP and AC suxxor." I had to explain to him that none of my buffs would give him neither HP or AC. His response "U sure? You are just too lazy to buff me. I will just go find someone else." Ebayer #2.

Taushar

[Dunthor Warsmith]

Umbra Ench/57 - Increase AC by 22

Lazy!

[Ixiola]

Well at least it was a tell to the right class...

Just last night I was playing my level 64 cleric, getting ready to head off to group with friends, when I get a tell from someone I don't know. Something to the effect of, "Will you help my friend please?"

Well this was a new one. Did I miss a prior tell where friend-o1 had asked me for something and this person was confirming I would help?

So I said, "Um, sorry? I don't understand. What does your friend need?"

And the reply, "My friend needs a rez. Can you help please?"

"Um, sorry not enough information. Can you tell me where? I'm getting ready to head out with a group."

"Overthere"

/sigh...

"Overthere, where? Because if the body is near the portal right now, I can come, but otherwise, I don't have the time as my group is getting ready to leave."

Turns out, I think she was kind of new, so I explained that when asking something of someone, explain politely, exactly what you need in one tell, with all the pertinent information. Ie.. Pardon me, but if you're not busy, would you be willing to come resurrect my friend XXX in zone YYY near AAA?

Nice person, but I don't think she understood how frustrating it is to get the details I needed in 10 tellls.

[Arrica]

I've had this one happen all too often the past couple months as I've been working AA's for EQ/AM3.

/shout 59 Ranger LFG.
XXX tells you: Have EQ/AM3?
You tell XXX: Not yet, working on it though.
XXX tells you: Oh, nvm then.


It's gotten better this past week, and I'm now at AM2, with only 7.5 AA's to go for 3.

[Grenoble]

I just tell people to go make a shaman if they want buffs nowadays.

Except my lizard shaman got asked for kei last night.

[thrashette]

Koru made me remember one.

I was in PoK at the bank grabbing stuff off my alt to make earthen silk swatches, when...

Noob10levelsbelowyou: Let me join your group.
Me: What group?
Noob10levelsbelowyou: I can tell you are grouped. I tried to invite you.
Me: It's not a real group. It's just me and my bank mule.
Noob10levelsbelowyou: C'mon. I can be really useful, I promise.
Me: You can?
Noob10levelsbelowyou: I will help the group a lot!
Me: How exactly are you going to help me make silk swatches?
Noob10levelsbelowyou: Ok, maybe not. Do you know any other groups?

[Aryse Andenter]

Hmm.... my least favourite tells are the blank ones.

Rude_Person tells you "

Like, how in the world are you supposed to respond to that? I'm not saying hello, you didn't even say hello. Anyone who starts out that way will NOT get whatever it is they want from me. I mean, how hard is it to do a /who instead of a /tell if you are just checking to see if someone is online?

As for requests... I wish I could have a flashing sign over my head with my class. I have been asked for SoW, KEI, Ports, Virtue, everything... and I have been asked for all of them while in erudite and spectre/skelly form.

Perhaps my favourite incident was after completing a LDoN, everyone was gating out. Dimwit_Who_Has_Known_ME_For_a_long_time turns to me and asks for a port. There I am, in skelly form, with my spectre pet beside me, after having just finished a whole LDoN, casting things like Mind Wrack and Zevfeer's the whole time....
There is just no saving us.

[Brodybeard]

Here's one that my druid learned to dread when she first gained access to the planes...

"Can you come to the Plane of Fear and do some tracking for me?"

"Loading, please wait... you have entered the Plane of Fear."

SMASH, STAB, CRUSH...

"Loading, please wait... you have returned to your bind point."

[Tigerwolf Spellbear]

I respond to those "Are you busy?" tells with "Depends". I don't mind buffing peeps (I'm a shaman), but I absolutly hate power leveling and I generally don't raid.
I love getting those "can you sow me?" tells when I'm on my warrior (wood elf). Come on, I'm dual wielding here.

Tigerwolf Spellbear
65th Shaman of Tunare
Tunare's Aberration

[Itzena]

I love getting those "can you sow me?" tells when I'm on my warrior (wood elf). Come on, I'm dual wielding here.

Ah, but you see wood elf + duel wield = ranger.
I mean, why have a elf warrior when you can have a troll?

[tomojo]

noobs....

Noob01 shouts - Halooo is anybody here?????

I check ( I am logged on as Khatti doing exp/farming for shrieking substance off wolves)
/w
Noob01 (vah shir) rogue lvl 1
Khatti (vah shir) warior lvl 29
There are 2 players in Hollowshade Moor

ignore

about 5 min later Noob01 shouts same things.

I'm taking a break since Bears just took over islands.
/ooc you looking for anyone in particular?


Noob01 shouts Care to join up???
/t Noob01 Huh?
Noob01 shouts GROUP!!!
/t Noob01 wouldn't do any good for you. I'm level 29. You would get no exp.
Noob01 shouts Got anything I can have??

Since I'm not doing anything else at the moment I just go on.
/t Noob01 Nope, most of my stuff is warrior only.
Noob01 shouts Can you buff me??

Now, I'm carrying around a few shadow disks made during the smithing quest I've been using to self buff, so I decided to mess with him.
/t Noob01 Hang on by the zone to Shar Val.

Khatti runs over and casts 'Shadow', a minor armor buff using the shadow disk
Noob01 shouts Anyothers?
/t Noob01 fraid that's the only buf I can give....

Pity the next warrior this Noob asks for a buff of 'Shadow'......

[Pojodan]

One reason I enjoy being a Vah Shir Beastlord... seems I never get confused for something else. Often times I'll bring out Kitty and sit on my drogmor near the Nexus stone in PoK and enjoy the fact that I take up 10 times as much space as most everyone else.. naturally I get the 'you got ne thing to spare me plz?!' tells and the occational gawker.

I did manage to get myself in over my head once, though.

Was in GFay making Heady Kiolas (I dunno why but I prefer going there to make those over the other options) and some newbie started asking questions in /ooc about how to do some quests and other things. Most everyone else in the zone (About 5 or 6 folks, this being only a year ago) started ridiculing and being generally rude to him so I started a /tell conversation to answer at least his inquiries about the CB belt quest... then he wanted to know how to get to Kelethin.. then detailed directions for getting to the quest NPC, then explainations of the various factions in Faydwer... I finally told him I was busy making some tradeskill items (You try making 400 Heady Kiolas manually while chatting with someone)and he took it as an insult and proceeded to spam me with first pleads and then angery insults for not being more helpful.....
One of only a few folks I've ever put on ignore... a short time later someone informed me he was bad mouthing me in /ooc and I could only sigh.