Funny Email

[Ngreth Thergn]

I recieved this to EQTC email (with an "urgent" tag)...

Dear Sirs,

We are a trading company in Shengli Oilfield of China. We are looking for supplier of III reinforced steel bar with diameters at 18,22 and 32 mm respectively.

We want 10,000 tons whorl steel as building material.

Please quote us best price CIF Qingdao China.

Your prompt reply would be appreciated.

Sincerely yours,

Tony {last name removed}

Marketing manager
Shengli Oilfield Tongtai New Building Material CO.,Ltd {contact info removed}

Someone is a bit indescriminate with their web searches

[Balkin]

OMG!

ROFLMAO!!!

Someone needs to look just a WEEEE bit closer at the details of the web site's they're contacting...

*grin*

[Phabos]

10,000 tons of steel? That's a lot of ore...


*heads off to start farming FS weapons*



Phabos Aphsion
Drunken Paladin of Brell
Tarew Marr

[Sanna]

/snirk!!!

That's great. ^_^

Altho, what is one to think, when they come to a site that /seems/ to be 'advertising' what they want to buy? Although you'd think they would check more in to whom they're contacting, /especially/ given it's a foreign language/country to them. But that's a riot, nonetheless. ^_^

-- Sanna

[sumamael]

10,000 metric tonns of steel boning....how many clicks is that again?

Could you ask him if he can pay in platinum? We can't accept gold anymore.

Delivery is the nexus bank in the bazaar I would say, unless they can dock a cargo ship in the Abysmall sea.

We would have to hire new workers for this, please send your application via PM with your skill level in smithing. Usual benefits.
At least 18 levels of age, we don't want to get into trouble about child labour regulations you know.

[Speckocat Catnippurr]

That much should even encumber one in the bazaar.

Thanks for sharing that! I needed the laugh.

[kiztent]

Originally posted by sumamael
Delivery is the nexus bank in the bazaar I would say, unless they can dock a cargo ship in the Abysmall sea.

"CIF Qingdao China" means "Cost, Insurance and Freight" which means House Ogre would include shipping in his quote. What's the going rate for a TL to bind?

Assuming the weight units in game are KG (they're not), boning weighs 100g, which means 10k tonnes is 100,000,000 bonings, or 5,000,000 stacks filling 500,000 hand made backpacks. That's 62,500 fully loaded characters. With 20 percent mana savings from conservation of Xegony, that's 10 million mana, which will take 200,000 ticks to regen at raid regen rates (50/tick) or just under 17 days.

Assuming you keep the backpacks and 10pp for TLs (never mind getting back), you'd have 625,000pp in shipping charges.

At 5g3s5c per combine, that would give 56,175,000pp in raw material costs (with 5 percent failure rate).

Call it an even 60 million plat (~6 percent profit margin) for 10k tonnes of boning, CIF Qingdao China.

That, by the way, is 100,000,000 combines - assuming 20 combines per skill up, that's enough combines to get 2857 people to 1750.

[Breez]

Me thinks Kiztent is even more bored at work than I am.

[Speckocat Catnippurr]

/agree Breez

Not sure I'd ever go out of my way to do that much math....but I was an anthropology major.

But it IS a cool post kiztent. Just a little dizzying for us liberal arts types. Even those of us who work in internal audit/finance environments now.

We need you in our accounting dept. Really.

[Renjah]

Tell them we havn't found that recipie yet however we do make a mean planar steel stud!

[Kakg]

Oh dear - I've seen worse but not often.

Used to see some corkers in my old companies procurement dept. UK Ministry of Defence had a habit of making mistakes over product specs especially steel specs. You see steel specs start BSS (British Steel Specification) while specs for all other items start BS (British Standard), lose one S and some really daft things happen.

Like the time we were told to make something out of stainless steel but when our engineers looked up the spec it detailed the procedure for measuring tar content in cigarettes.

Or the time we got an order for what according to the spec was supposed to be 30,000 WW2 mule mufflers. Considering the company I worked for made submarines there were a lots of heads being scratched as to why the Ministry wanted to have any mules on a submarine never mind 30,000 of them. Although they did agree that if you had 30,000 mules on a submarine you would want them to be fitted with mufflers to avoid them damaging the floor plates and a large stock of corks might also be a good idea.

[Niami DenMother]

{laughs} They sent to more than one eqtraders address as well. However, I didn't go past reading the subject line before I hit delete on it as well as 100 other pieces of spam that had arrived in a day. At least it's a bit more humorous than all the emails telling me that they can help me please my *wife*. {eyes Ngreth} Didn't know polygamy was secretly legal in this state, didja?

[Lilosh]

Originally posted by Niami DenMother
{laughs} They sent to more than one eqtraders address as well. However, I didn't go past reading the subject line before I hit delete on it as well as 100 other pieces of spam that had arrived in a day. At least it's a bit more humorous than all the emails telling me that they can help me please my *wife*. {eyes Ngreth} Didn't know polygamy was secretly legal in this state, didja?

Didn't you know,Mum? You can gain 1-3 inches, and please her with your...



Oh, nevermind.
Uhhh... Whoops...

-Lilosh

[Piikaa]

LoL, this is what I do for a living, I quote freight for marine transportation. Right now, there is an enourmous demand for steel in China, they are virtually sucking up all the scrap in the world. This summer, for example, a 195' x 35' x 12' open hopper barge would scrap out at around USD7,000.00. Right now, that same barge is worth aprox USD35,000.00

The price of a new construction barge last year was around USD250,000.00 - USD285,000.00. Right now, with the cost of steel, these same barges are being quoted at USD350,000.00+ per barge!

[Hibashira]

Our reply should be:

III reinforced steel bar with diameters at 18,22 and 32 mm are not stackable so they'll have to be delivered in 100% weight reduction bags. Unfortunately, the combine mechanism is broken, we are waiting on Sony for repair.

At the mean time, we can begin to forge the ore. Would you prefer the final bars be of the shimmering type, the aligned type, or immaculate type or do you have no preference?

Would it be correct to assume your order of 10,000 tons refers to metric tons? If so, that converts to 1.6 million stones, which converts to 400,000 bars (4 stones per bar). That will be delivered in 40,000 100% weight reduction bags.

The total cost will be:
Steel: 400,000 x 1,000pp = 400 million pp
Bags: 40,000 x 5,000pp = 200 million pp
Total: 600 million pp

If the price is acceptable, we can proceed to check for inventory and back order, and then provide you with a schedule for delivery.