need cat advice

[Aamen]

I read the cat saga, and thought maybe some folks here could help.

I'm a dog person, lived through 4 of 'em, so dogs are easy. I'm taking care of my mom's cat, and its....different. I just need to know if this behavior is normal or if there's something I can do about it.

First off, the cat has a very gentle demeanor. He will allow most strangers to rub his belly, etc.

That said, feeding him is hard. He will swipe at me if I lift either dish to fill it. While I'm filling the dish, he will ram into my legs/try to trip me and just be a general nuisance. Dogs know that when I grab the dish, it's time for food and they settle down. He doesn't.

Second, he requires....too much TLC. If I'm not petting enough or I don't allow him to join me in the bathroom/whatever, he meows incessantly.

I can play around/rough-house with a dog. If I try that with this cat, he takes offense and will continue to bite, but not hard. Just enought to let me know.

And he must be in the same bed as me, and often tries to sleep on my head. That's annoying. As well, if I'm laying in the couch, he'll want to lay on my chest/stomach. He's a good 19 lbs (I've weighed him) and this gets uncomfortable.

Anywho, thanks for any advice.

[Eowenna Celerdain]

Kitty Behavior ...

Hello! I don't know how "expert" I am, but here's a few thoughts that come immediately to mind:

Truly domesticated cats are an odd blend of independence and affection.

Some will tend to view humans as their own "extended family" and react to you much as they would to another cat. It sounds like this may be what's happening with the one you're babysitting. Actually, that's sort of a compliment -- even though it can be a touch awkward if you're not accustomed to it. :shock:

*Kitty is territorial about the food dish. :roll:

*Kitty rubs against you (a sign of acceptance, though it can be difficult to walk when they do this), and prefers to be in your company instead of shut away from you.

*Kitty wants to "curl up together" when it's time to sleep, and compete for the "best spot" on the bed (the pillow). Or they like to be snuggled into your hair, which is more like another cat. I never have thoroughly figured out which is the primary attraction there ...

*Kitty is semi-serious about wrestling, but likes and wants to be touched.

If you think of each of these things, if you've ever seen the way two cats (on friendly terms) behave around each other, you'll recognize some similarities. If not, you've just learned something about cats.

Because kitties will get excited when playing hard, it's unwise to use bare hands to play with them. I'd suggest dragging a string for the kitty to chase when (s)he is in a playful mood ... a LONGISH string.

You can buy a skein of brightly-colored yarn in most craft / variety stores for about a dollar. Pull out a strand at least the length of your arm, clip it off, and you have a "toy" that you and kitty can both enjoy. If it gets all knotted up or kitty drags it off and doesn't come back, make another length and start over.

I have two ... one likes the string pulled slowly, the other likes it to move more quickly. One likes it to go behind things so kitty can "find" it, the other prefers it stay in plain sight. One prefers to chase it, the other prefers to catch it and have a bit of a tug-o-war (though gentler than you'd probably do with a dog). One likes it to stay mostly on the ground, the other likes to bat at it up in the air. A little experimentation should help you and this kitty find a balance that works for you.

I have two cats, 2 1/2 years old, that run in the neighborhood of 15 lbs each. I've had them since they were small kittens, and I *still* have to remind them to stay off my pillow.

They *both* like to sleep on me, and yes - as dear as they are to me, sometimes that's uncomfortable. I find that if I roll to one side or the other, they usually will get off and curl up beside me instead of persisiting in perching ON me.

I don't know if any of these ideas will help ... but here they are, just in case.

[Aandaie]

The cat is exhibiting bad feeding behavior.

This is something they break dogs of when training them as puppies, by removing the bowl and such while they are trying to eat. If the snap at you or anything it is bad.

I'm pretty sure cats can be trained the same way, when kittens, but not sure about when they are larger. There is some guy who trains kittens to do all sorts of "dog like" tricks and stuff. He just has to get them while they are young.

Not sure, but the thing is people probably just don't bother to try to train the cat for bad feeding behavior as much since it isn't really as dangerous as a larger dog biting.

I had a very similar experience as yours, with a friend's cat while house sitting. I was always very empathic with my dog and started to "talk" with it like a dog does sort of, in excited little "gruffs" or bursts of air. So when I was around this cat I started doing something similar, in a series of meow kind of sounds (in the questioning way they do, sort of) and deep purring. This possibly was a mistake because suddenly the cat was more affectionate with me than it was with its own human family, doing crazy things like you mention such as trying to sleep in the middle of my chest or head.

I woke up to find the thing smack dab in the middle of my chest, kind of nuzzling my chin in the dark and purring very loudly. It sort of seemed almost.. sexual.. and kind of creeped me out. Hahaha.

[Tinile]

I'm a kitty mommy to 3 furries aged 12 and 11. They never had any bad feeding behaviors, but I buy those huge bags of food, so I usually bring scoops to their bowl, leaving it on the ground. Perhaps that will help you, if you don't touch the bowl.

Cats love attention in different ways. One likes to rub my legs when I walk, always getting underfoot. She has been stepped on numerous times and still does it.

All 3 like to follow me into the bathroom, although I don't mind. They sit on the tub and get their heads rubbed. If this bothers you, shut the door tight after you go in.

Same with bedtime. I don't mind them jumping on me during the night, but my husband doesn't find that fun, so we usually shut the door when we go to bed. Cats can't open tightly shut doors.

Yes, it's normal for cats to want to be around you. They do love us humans in their way. My cats like to sit on me at the computer and on the couch. It's their way of showing affection (and getting their ears scratched!) Sounds like you've got a very affectionate cat there.

[Lling]

I haven't used the bathroom alone in years. I will usually have the company of my 8-year-old, 6-lb. female, who loves to perch inside the shower. Sometimes we are joined by her 7-year-old, 19-lb. brother, whom she loathes and whom she frequestly chases away, despite the fact that he is 3 times her size. They love to just be with me.

My husband and I haven't slept alone in years. My female find this little nest between my knees and settles in, her large brother sleeps pressed against my husband's thigh, and my 17-year-old male sleeps with his back end on the bed and his front end on my side. It's very crowded and very nice. I know my old one won't be with us too much longer and I want him to be happy.

They sit atop our monitors or from the backs of our chairs while we play EQ, staring intently, like it is the most fascintaing thing in the world.

Cats can be aloof but they are extremely social creatures. We are family to them.

Another great toy is one of those cheap laser points. All my cats go nuts chasing the little red dot all over the house. They get some great exercise.

[Zeralenn]

Cat giving you a problem about lifting the dish?

Then don't lift the dish.

I've seen this in some cats who get territorial about their food dishes. I've had one. It just requires a few rather simple changes.

For water, refill the dish by using a glass or a small pitcher to carry water from the sink to the dish. (BTW, most cats think an ice cube in the water dish is great fun).

For the dry food bowl, just fill the bowl where it sits, either by carrying the bag or jug to the bowl. Or, use one of those ones with a hopper, so you are filling the hopper rather than touching the "bowl".

To clean either of these bowls, wait until the cat is not around, asleep or whatever, and use that time to pick up the bowls to wash them. Wash bowls at times that are not associated with food times.

For moist food, there are a variety of things you can try:

1. Pick up the moist food bowl when the cat is finished eating and has wandered away, not before you are about to feed him. Or pick it up and clean it at a time not normally associated with feeding time.

2. Buy two or three identical bowls. That way you can rotate them in such a way that your cat doesn't feel like taking the dirty bowl doesn't mean he's not getting more food.

3. Use disposable food bowls such as dessert sized paper plates, so you can throw away the used dish later and just put down a fresh dish when it is time to eat.

I know that when I feed my cats, I pick up the bowls with old food in it, wash them, dry them, fill them with new food, and put them down again. That is how most people do it. But for some reason this cat is not entirely sure the bowl is coming back every time, so you need to disassociate the picking up and cleaning of the bowls with incoming food.

BTW, use only glass, ceramic, or metal bowls when feeding cats, and a flatter bowl, even a small plate, is healthier than a bowl. Plastic is not possible to wash completely and will trap bacteria and oil. Oil can settle on a cat's chin when she is eating and cause chin acne, which is very stubborn and difficult to clear up. Using a flat plate will generally keep the food off the cat's chin and help keep it cleaner too. Paper plates cannot trap bacteria or oil because they are fresh every time.

...Zera
who used to write for CATS Magazine

[Lling]

BTW, use only glass, ceramic, or metal bowls when feeding cats, and a flatter bowl, even a small plate, is healthier than a bowl. Plastic is not possible to wash completely and will trap bacteria and oil. Oil can settle on a cat's chin when she is eating and cause chin acne, which is very stubborn and difficult to clear up. Using a flat plate will generally keep the food off the cat's chin and help keep it cleaner too. Paper plates cannot trap bacteria or oil because they are fresh every time.

...Zera
who used to write for CATS Magazine

Zera, what a wonderful, helpful post! I never knew all this but I will be tossing the few plastic dishes I have.

Thank you.

[Pojodan]

Ah cats... I love em because they're so different.

My house has 3 of them. One if mine and the other two are my sister's.. she lives in an apartment where she can't have animals so they live with us now.

Lulu: Golden long haired female with faint orange tiger stripes and a big black spot on her otherwise white chest, black dots on her nose and a few black whiskers
Delilah: Tuxedo cat female , black with chest underside and paws 'Lowrider' hindquarters
Sampson: Tuxedo cat, very similar to Delilah just larger and poofier with a more normal stance.

Delilah is the stupidest cat I've ever seen, doesn't land on her paws if you drop her most of the time, trips over herself often, has this look of utter bewilderment most of the time. Will meow at the sliding glass door then immediately run to the garage door once it's opened, go into garage, go through dog door, then resume meowing at the sliding glass door.

Sampson is an extremely laid back cat.. at least so long as there are no other cats around. Around humans he's about as lazy as a rug.. around other cats he goes into stalking mode and does his very best to harass them... if they fight back he just gets rougher... if they ignore him he just rolls around and tries to act like nothing happened.

Lulu hates the other two and seems to enjoy the fact.. will sit at the glass door and stare at them, growling and flip out if you touch her. Otherwise she's very personable, alibi moody. She has a daily quotient of affection that she'll very persistantly meet even if it means shoving her way onto my lap. Once it's full, that's it, no more, go away! She never sleeps on me nore in my bedroom, though will often nap in the chair next to me at my computer.

Lulu is Indoor/Outdoor... wants to be outside, but won't go outside if either of the other cats are anywhere in sight. Sampson is outdoor due to how he constantly harasses Lulu due to her fighting back. Delilah is outdoor due to the fact that she pees on the most convenient object and after she does that Lulu will pee on it repeatedly no matter how much you clean it.

Then there's Louie.. our half Lab/half German Shepard (Read big, playful, friendly, protective dog) who gets along smashingly with all three of them, he even plays with them sometimes, though it's usually him bouncing around and them scurrying to avoid getting squashed... otherwise they all with sniff and rub against him often. (I could go on about Louie for awhile too.. for instance I took him to the vet today and he spent the entire time in the waiting room reared up with his forlegs on my arm quivering and leaning against me heavily as if to say 'hold me'.. I may be 300 lbs myself but he's no lightweight and can push me over if he wants to)

[Aoladari Raveynfyre]

/hijack on

I need some advice too, if possible.

1.) I have an extremely DUMB, graceless cat (Hallie). The looks of bewilderment in the previous post completely fits my cat. She falls off of things all the time. Her legs are so long that she is incredibly clumsy. Sweet cat all in all.

She hates being held. I don't understand it. I have never "smothered her" or forced her to be held... The really strange thing is she liked being held when I first brought her home from the humane soc.

2.) My Man has a 10 year old black/smoke undertone longhaired cat (Behr). She is the ninja b#@$% from "h" "e" double hockey sticks. She can be all nice and sweet one minute and the next proceed to rip your arm off. I do have scars from this cat, one of the holes she poked in my arm took 30 min to get the bleeding to stop and I had to get a shot for the infection the followed.

Behr hates Hallie. With every ounce of her being. They have been living together for over 1 year and Behr will still outright attack my kitten. One time Behr almost took Hallie's eye out, there were literally milimeters between what happened and a vet visit.

I couldn't introduce them correctly. We live in an extremely small apartment where the bedroom door doesn't close all the way due to the carpet that was installed 20 some odd years ago. Besides the bathroom, there was no way to put one cat in one room and one cat in the other and slowly let them meet. Long story short I had to throw them together due to living conditions.

I REFUSE to let my cat roam outside.. here that is as close to a death sentence as you can get.

They have calmed down quite a bit since the first introduction, but sometimes I still hear the bloodcurdling yowl of terror that preceeds an attack. (Note: I have gotten Hallie to where she will not spray urine when she is attacked... very good sign. She ruined a $50.00 keyboard once)

Do you guys think more time is necessary or should I look into tranq's (kitty prozac) for Behr? (She has previously been on them for having other cats in the house. She was so stressed that she lost fur in patches.)

EDIT- My man believes that if any other person but him owned Behr they would have put her to sleep years ago... she is *that* bad. Behr was a feral cat for 1 year before my man took her in.

Any other advice is greatly appreciated.
/hijack off

[Lothay]

If you have 2 cats that simply refuse to get along, I'm not sure what, if anything, you can do.


Consider asking your Vet. He might have some sugguestions.

~Lothay

[fielan]

Some cats have SEVERE separation anxiety. The kitty you're sitting for may be experiencing some of that.

When my roommate isn't home at the usual time, his cat will start meowing very loudly, and making a pest of himself for the rest of the household. He jumps up on my boyfriend and claws at his chair, tries to sit on us as much as possible, and is just terribly needy and pathetic.

My little butterball is a female and hates the male. He can't come near her without loud hissing and spitting. We too have a smallish apartment, and I suppose we're fortunate in that whatever violence between them happens is usually deserved. (The male will pounce the female and she'll swat him)

But yes, the advice given above is good. Cats are to dogs as apples are to oranges. Have fun with the kitty.

[Saleani]

Aamen, it sounds to me like you are sitting for a very friendly cat.

Rubbing your legs is one way of marking you as belonging to the cat. Hey, this person is mine, hands off. Sometimes cats want as much attention as a dog does. That could be the reason behind the meowing when you are in the bathroom.

Aoladari, cats can be very territorial, and it can take a long time for them to become accustomed to letting "intruders" in. Ask your vet for better advice than I can give. Sometimes you can tell from the body language what the deal is.

[Zeralenn]

/hijack on
She hates being held. I don't understand it. I have never "smothered her" or forced her to be held... The really strange thing is she liked being held when I first brought her home from the humane soc.

You are describing my elderly domestic to a T. We always tell her that she pulled the wool over her eyes. In the shelter, she was cuddly, begged to be picked up and held, and seemed to love it. Within a week of getting her home, she changed into a completely different cat who hated being held and disliked being touched. That was almost thirteen years ago.

Gradually, with patience, she got to the point where she enjoyed being petted. Then I worked up to petting somewhere other than just the top of her head. My housemate started a "sweetening up campaign", centered around the fact that although she hated being held she LOVED being brushed. By the time she was seven or eight years old, she'd half-sit on a lap. By the time she was ten, she'd crawl into a lap. She still does not like being picked up and held, but at least laps are acceptable.

You can't force every cat to be interested in being picked up and held. My other cat, a Scottish Fold, tolerates being picked up once in awhile but will only be held for a few minutes before wanting to go down. I'm slowly training him to like it, too.

The big thing is not to force the issue overmuch. The instant my Fold indicates he wants to be put down, I put him down. Gradually he is letting me pick him up for longer periods because he knows he can get down any time he wants.

As far as your other cats go: there are some people who never learn to like one another, so why does it surprise you that cats feel the same way? It may simply be that these cats cannot live together. It is also possible that a veterinary visit may provide some answers. If the older cat is chewing her fur, that's a sign of major stress and a veterinary visit is definitely in order.

It's not fun, but I had to place one of my cats in an only-cat home because he simply could not get along with the other two. He is now happier than he has ever been, and the other two cats have also become happier and more content. As hard as it was for me, it was the best thing for them, and that's really the more important thing.

...Zera

[Aamen]

BTW, thank you for the tips. I've been manipulating the dish during non-feeding times and that has helped. And I maneuver him during sleep times and he's cool with that.

Again, thank you for the help