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Wanted to share with you all some "faction" issues I encountered today. This is as close to a safe community I have, so just let me know if this is the wrong place to post this.
I bought my first new car today. I am married, but brought my parents along to sign/co-sign for me because they have way better credit than my husband and I.
I made an appointment with the dealer to come in and discuss my options (I had to turn in my lease that day anyway) and informed him that I would be bringing my father along as well.
The community we live in is for the most part populated with Caucasians of German decent. In the past 10 years however, we've become vastly multi-cultural. My father is caucasian, with strong scottish roots, and my mother is african-american with some Native American roots. Both grduated from the same up-scale college in their early 20's. They've been married 31 years.
But anyway, the point of my story. The three of us walked into the dealership and were told to wait for the sales guy because he was running late. As a group, we browsed the showroom looking at the cars, and we were all within about a foot of eachother. Within a few minutes, a sales man spotted us on the floor and approached us. At that moment I happend to be discussing with my father why I think the 3rd door on a 2 door sedan was pointless ;-)
The sales guy approcahed my father - looked him directly in the eye and asked him if he needed help. My father replied no, he's fine. The man nodded and walked away. About a minute later, he came back, and looked at my mother and me and asked if WE needed help. No, she said - we're all together. The man looked at my mother, my father, and me, raised an eyebrow and walked away.
My mother and I chuckled, okay - so they ignore women in a car dealership, that's nothing new. About 30 seconds later, another sales man spotted us, all in a cluster now, mind you, and approcahed my father, asking if he was being helped. Again, my father replied he was waiting for another sales man, thank you. The man promptly turned to my mother, not 6 inches away from him, and asked if *she* had been helped yet. Again, she replied, we're all together. This time the man looked at her, my father, and back to her again. "You're with HIM?" he asked.
"This is my wife, " my father said, quite irritated. The sales man nodded, smiled, apologized for disturbing us, and walked away.
Eventually we met with the sales man and proceeded to go about the car-buying process. They started to collect the information for the credit report and asked my father for his income and his mortgage payment. He asked me the same, and I gave him the information. "Well, since you're married, " he said to me, "and I assume your husband works, you're rent payment is really 1/2 of this, since you're at most 1/2 of the income." I nodded, we both make around the same amount. He proceeded with the paperwork for me and my father, running a credit check. As he stepped out of the room, my mother remarked, "he didn't ask me about my income."
"You're not signing the financing," my father told her, "I am, so they need my income."
"But how come <Turlie>'s rent payment is 1/2 when her husband works? I work too you know, but he didn't ask." We didnt know what to say about this. Two hours later, reviewing the final paperwork, the sales manager finally said to my mother - oh, I'm sorry, I forgot to ask if you work. She gave him the information after which he said somethign like, "I think it's great that you two are still married after all this," out of the blue.
Now, I grew up in a neborhood where eveyone was caucasian, and I really never even noticed that I was a darker color than them till my early teens. It really never came up. So I am not one of those people that are constatly "racially aware" of things, and tend to be hyper-sensitive to discrimination. To the contrary, people have to point out to me when I'm being evaluated on the basis of my race - i just never see it happen, perhaps I'm naieve, but I am just oblivious to it.
But in this case, I couldn't decide to be offended or sadly amused. The dealer went on to make some other remarks about the "wonderfulness" of my parent's relationship, etc., but it wasn't too important. IF not for the fact that they had us over the fire, so to speak, with the expired lease, I would have taken my business elsewhere. I can't decide if I'm imagining things, if this was a gender thing, or a race thing. Either way, it made me uncomfortable. Wondering if there was anything I could do short of surgery and a Michael Jackson-ish skin color transformation, to improve my faction at the Saturn dealership? Thought not.
Sorry for the long post, (and my uncorrected typos) I just needed to get that out. Am I being too racially sensitive? I usually never see these things till they're pointed out, but in this case? I dunno.
I bought my first new car today. I am married, but brought my parents along to sign/co-sign for me because they have way better credit than my husband and I.
I made an appointment with the dealer to come in and discuss my options (I had to turn in my lease that day anyway) and informed him that I would be bringing my father along as well.
The community we live in is for the most part populated with Caucasians of German decent. In the past 10 years however, we've become vastly multi-cultural. My father is caucasian, with strong scottish roots, and my mother is african-american with some Native American roots. Both grduated from the same up-scale college in their early 20's. They've been married 31 years.
But anyway, the point of my story. The three of us walked into the dealership and were told to wait for the sales guy because he was running late. As a group, we browsed the showroom looking at the cars, and we were all within about a foot of eachother. Within a few minutes, a sales man spotted us on the floor and approached us. At that moment I happend to be discussing with my father why I think the 3rd door on a 2 door sedan was pointless ;-)
The sales guy approcahed my father - looked him directly in the eye and asked him if he needed help. My father replied no, he's fine. The man nodded and walked away. About a minute later, he came back, and looked at my mother and me and asked if WE needed help. No, she said - we're all together. The man looked at my mother, my father, and me, raised an eyebrow and walked away.
My mother and I chuckled, okay - so they ignore women in a car dealership, that's nothing new. About 30 seconds later, another sales man spotted us, all in a cluster now, mind you, and approcahed my father, asking if he was being helped. Again, my father replied he was waiting for another sales man, thank you. The man promptly turned to my mother, not 6 inches away from him, and asked if *she* had been helped yet. Again, she replied, we're all together. This time the man looked at her, my father, and back to her again. "You're with HIM?" he asked.
"This is my wife, " my father said, quite irritated. The sales man nodded, smiled, apologized for disturbing us, and walked away.
Eventually we met with the sales man and proceeded to go about the car-buying process. They started to collect the information for the credit report and asked my father for his income and his mortgage payment. He asked me the same, and I gave him the information. "Well, since you're married, " he said to me, "and I assume your husband works, you're rent payment is really 1/2 of this, since you're at most 1/2 of the income." I nodded, we both make around the same amount. He proceeded with the paperwork for me and my father, running a credit check. As he stepped out of the room, my mother remarked, "he didn't ask me about my income."
"You're not signing the financing," my father told her, "I am, so they need my income."
"But how come <Turlie>'s rent payment is 1/2 when her husband works? I work too you know, but he didn't ask." We didnt know what to say about this. Two hours later, reviewing the final paperwork, the sales manager finally said to my mother - oh, I'm sorry, I forgot to ask if you work. She gave him the information after which he said somethign like, "I think it's great that you two are still married after all this," out of the blue.
Now, I grew up in a neborhood where eveyone was caucasian, and I really never even noticed that I was a darker color than them till my early teens. It really never came up. So I am not one of those people that are constatly "racially aware" of things, and tend to be hyper-sensitive to discrimination. To the contrary, people have to point out to me when I'm being evaluated on the basis of my race - i just never see it happen, perhaps I'm naieve, but I am just oblivious to it.
But in this case, I couldn't decide to be offended or sadly amused. The dealer went on to make some other remarks about the "wonderfulness" of my parent's relationship, etc., but it wasn't too important. IF not for the fact that they had us over the fire, so to speak, with the expired lease, I would have taken my business elsewhere. I can't decide if I'm imagining things, if this was a gender thing, or a race thing. Either way, it made me uncomfortable. Wondering if there was anything I could do short of surgery and a Michael Jackson-ish skin color transformation, to improve my faction at the Saturn dealership? Thought not.
Sorry for the long post, (and my uncorrected typos) I just needed to get that out. Am I being too racially sensitive? I usually never see these things till they're pointed out, but in this case? I dunno.
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