sad news, bad news (WARNING: child tragedy)

[EnfinitiStarr8]

It is the worst thing in the world when a parent has outlived there child. I am truly sorry for you and him. Sometime life can be just evil, but we must always remember to carry on and remember our loved ones.

You have my prayers and wishs.

[Lilosh]

I paused from commenting a while, to collect my thoughts on a great many subjects.

Eventually, it all comes down to one conclusion.


If there is a god, then I reasonably believe he no longer cares.
For her. For me. For any of us.

Name one thing a four year old can do to "Deserve" such a horrific death, and I will reconsider.

Name one thing that this man did to deserve the horrid pain of having his youngest child taken from him by fire.

If this reply dances the religion line, or some other line I have long since stopped seeing, I will not be offended if it is deleted.


...
-Lilosh

[Delfontes]

I am so sorry for the loss

I know I don't know you well, posting on a message board is not exactly a close friend, but if you want to talk sometime, just PM me, or message me in game. I talk a lot, but I can also listen.

;tell brell.delfontes

I think that is it at least....

[Lilosh]

(Delfontes edited his post, and I edited mine)

[Nhin Impious]

If there is a god, then I reasonably believe he no longer cares.
For her. For me. For any of us.

Personal interpretation only.

Bad stuff happens because we live in an imperfect world.

We have the choice to look only at the bad, to see that someday all of us will die, that there will be pain and grief and suffering along the way. This is true.

We also have the choice to heal ourselves and others; and the greatest of gifts that we can give is love. Love is the river that can bring us past pain, and grief, and anguish, without forgetting or denying any of those things. This is just as true.

Lilosh, I don't know whether you believe in the same river I do, or even in a river at all. Maybe all that you're up to facing right now is a little cup full of water. Maybe you can't even deal with that right now; but that won't stop me from offering you my cup and sharing water.

You're not alone here. None of us is. And if that's not the point, it should be.

Thanks for the support, everyone... and may Innoruuk neglect to strike me with lightning for it, I love you all too.

Nhinx Aphsion
(who spelled that name backwards for a reason)

[Aandaie]

I agree with Nhin.

Bad things happen because we have one of the greatest gifts in "free will." People may do as they like and random things continually happen.
You might fall down an elevator shaft tomorrow or do some heroic deed that you never thought possible.

Its the imperfect chaotic world that makes people look for God.

Its like when someone in my family said, around the time of 9/11, "How could God allow that to happen?"

My reply was, "How could he allow it not to happen? We are not puppets, its all time and chance. Life would be pretty boring if we were all stuck in some safety net."

Someone departs before their time for the exact same reason that tomorrow you might get out of work early and go to a park and enjoy some ice cream; things just happen. Its not for the greater good that bad things happen, they just happen for the same reasons that good things do.

[Morani]

Part of understanding bliss, happiness, joy, etc comes from understanding the things on the other end of the spectrum. A tragedy is a tragedy and no one likes to experience pain. Humans are social creatures so we turn to each other for help when things are too tough to handle on our own. We also reach out to offer support how ever we can when we see someone in pain.

In my opinion, one of the worse misconceptions we have as a society is that everything that happens to people is deserved. That is just not true. Rotten people have good things happen to them and good people have rotten things happen to THEM all the time. It's really hard to NOT take things personally when they happen to us but the truth of the mater is that most things that happen ARE impersonal. For the same reasons that we want to BE somebody, we fear that we are nobody. When something tragic happens, we could choose to not take it personally but that conflicts with the desire to be important in the grand scheme of things. Either way, it hurts: take the pain personally and it's more intense, don't take it personal and a reminder that we are insignificant to the world is added to the pain of loss.

In the grieving process, it is common for a person to go from intense emotions like anger, horror, and grief to a feeling that they are tiny and the world is distant to them. This is usually the point the person realizes the event that felt so personal was random. Because there is no longer a place to direct those emotions, the feeling of strength they provided is gone.

If it makes you feel better to blame a Deity then do it. If the Deity exists, it either doesn't know you're blaming it or it understands. The important part is your own health and grieving process. If you need to put a purpose to bad things then focus on the good that comes from it. How many people read the post and as a result showed someone else some affection or told someone they are loved? How many took a moment to think about how much the people in their lives mean and (even if only for a short time) took them for granted a little less? What about the level of compassion, mercy and patience we show our fellow humans? I bet it was increased for a time in each of us that where effected directly or not.

Tragedies happen, whether or not they are "deserved" they are always horrible. There is nothing we can do to prevent them from happening and even less we can do to undo them. Ultimately, what matters is what we do AFTER they happen. When they are fresh, the pain is too great to see it, but every tragedy is a window into an opportunity to make our lives better. As humans, we learn best from our mistakes and the things that hurt us. When faced with something like that we are more honest with ourselves and have more drive to change things we don't like.

The passing of a 3 year-old is indeed a sad thing, but how many lives will the waves and ripples caused by her passing touch? How many lives will be moved by the loss and change for the better? Her passing reminds us that all the characteristics we attribute to the Deities is also within us, including the ability to change the world we live in.

If in my living or my dying I can make the world a better place than I shall fear neither.

[Mnemosyne]

"We come into this world alone and we leave the same way. The time we spend in between, time spent alive, sharing, learning - together - is all that makes life worth living."

I'm very sorry.
/hugs and comfort

Morgani Windlance
The Nameless

{quote from Jean Gray, Uncanny X-Men 303} (just found it rather hopeful)