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  • Errr...umm.... OK???

    http://tv.yahoo.com/news/wwn/20030319/104808600007.html


    Apparently somebody claiming to be "From the future" turned $800 into $350 MILLION over two weeks playing the market.

    He claims to be from the 2200s, and have knowledge of all kinds of things.

    But the fact is, with an initial investment of only $800, in two weeks' time he had a portfolio valued at over $350 million. Every trade he made capitalized on unexpected business developments, which simply can't be pure luck.
    The past year of nose-diving stock prices has left most investors crying in their beer. So when Carlssin made a flurry of 126 high-risk trades and came out the winner every time, it raised the eyebrows of Wall Street watchdogs.

    "If a company's stock rose due to a merger or technological breakthrough that was supposed to be secret, Mr. Carlssin somehow knew about it in advance," says the SEC source close to the hush-hush, ongoing investigation.

    The part that really gets me is this...

    Officials are quite confident the "time-traveler's" claims are bogus. Yet the SEC source admits, "No one can find any record of any Andrew Carlssin existing anywhere before December 2002."

    -Lilosh
    Venerable Noishpa Taltos , Planar Druid, Educated Halfling, and GM Baker.
    President and Founder of the Loudmouthed Sarcastic Halflings Society
    Also, Smalltim

    So take the fact of having a dirty mind as proof that you are world-savvy; it's not a flaw, it's an asset, if nothing else, it's a defense - Sanna

  • #2
    In a bid for leniency, Carlssin has reportedly offered to divulge "historical facts" such as the whereabouts of Osama Bin Laden and a cure for AIDS.

    All he wants is to be allowed to return to the future in his "time craft."
    Hehe, I'd love to hear his information on the location of Osama Bin Laden and the cure for AIDS. Wouldn't it be freaky if he was actually right?

    The future must be pretty bleak if someone comes back to now just to make a fortune on the stock market.

    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by Cantatus
      The future must be pretty bleak if someone comes back to now just to make a fortune on the stock market.
      heheh maybe inflation is just the pits... ;-)


      Visit my signature gallery!

      Comment


      • #4
        Weekly World News =(
        Sage Maldisdain Atheist
        *** C o e r c e r ***

        Comment


        • #5
          Why do I get the feeling the Weekly World News simply scooped The Onion on this story?

          Phabos
          Skeptical Paladin of Brell
          Tarew Marr

          Comment


          • #6
            Yeah, you missed the important quote of the story:

            Weekly World News will continue to follow this story as it unfolds. Keep watching for further developments.
            This is not a real story, completely and utterly fiction. Saw it a few days ago on another board.
            Newb Tradeskiller Extraordinairé.

            Baron Sorcerer of 62 levels and 2555 quads. Proud owner of the Sixth Shawl . Retired

            Comment


            • #7
              D'oh

              Sorry.

              :-(

              /rude Yahoo for reposting it.

              -Lilosh
              Venerable Noishpa Taltos , Planar Druid, Educated Halfling, and GM Baker.
              President and Founder of the Loudmouthed Sarcastic Halflings Society
              Also, Smalltim

              So take the fact of having a dirty mind as proof that you are world-savvy; it's not a flaw, it's an asset, if nothing else, it's a defense - Sanna

              Comment


              • #8
                This is not a real story, completely and utterly fiction. Saw it a few days ago on another board.
                I love the Onion *looks over at his daily calender* and the Daily Show. Sometimes fake news is better than the real stuff.

                Comment


                • #9
                  The Daily show is factual news for 75% of it, they just say it in a humerous way.

                  Like they'll show the looting of bagdad with actual footage, but just show the office furniture, and make jokes about how it was a shortage of chairs that was ruining the country.

                  They do make stuff up, but I don't think they've ever tried to pretend something was real.

                  Like the satellite feeds to bagdad when you know the guy is in the studio, hehe.

                  When they totally botch translations for humor, it is very obvious what they are doing I think, hehe.
                  Newb Tradeskiller Extraordinairé.

                  Baron Sorcerer of 62 levels and 2555 quads. Proud owner of the Sixth Shawl . Retired

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    What really amazes me about these "Newsrags" is that they will maintain that all of their stories are true, as if Fox, CNN, and MSNBC wouldn't be all over these stories in a heartbeat. The mainstream media is so desperate for ratings that no story, no matter how silly, is ignored. There are no "scoops" in the communication age.
                    Pottery 159 Tailoring 188 Brewing 170 Baking 178 Smithing 205 Alchemy 114, Fishing 35, JC 15, Fletching 0

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      /sigh Now ill never know if someone gets int PoTime....he was my only hope
                      Xynn: Cleric of Innoruuk 240 Baker 187 Brewer drinking and eating.... /burp!
                      Farnyr Shrubhugger: Druid of Karana 182 tailoring and crying....
                      Vazaelle

                      Professore: Rogue of Agnostic 125 Make Poison and stabbin... All Hail Agnostic!
                      Tarew Marr

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Regarding Yahoo listing it in their news - the urban legend site that I (and some others here) frequent (www.snopes.com) has had to put up debunkings of several things Yahoo has linked as news that are from Weekly World News. Sigh.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          And you would trust something named "Yahoo" for real news? The answer is in the question. =)

                          Yes, Lilosh, more spankings are required, I'm afraid.


                          The cupcake is DONE! 1750!!! And 7 Trophies! And a fishing pole! That summons beer! Woo! And Tarteene, the enchanting gnomish tinkerer of the 247th bolt and one neato Tinkering Trophy

                          Butcherblock Oak Bark Map, hosted by Kentarre!
                          Reztarn's Guide to Finding Yew Leaves
                          Frayed Knot - The Rathe

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Chenier
                            And you would trust something named "Yahoo" for real news? The answer is in the question. =)

                            Yes, Lilosh, more spankings are required, I'm afraid.
                            If you insist!

                            *takes Chenier over his knee, and starts the required spankings*


                            -Lilosh
                            Venerable Noishpa Taltos , Planar Druid, Educated Halfling, and GM Baker.
                            President and Founder of the Loudmouthed Sarcastic Halflings Society
                            Also, Smalltim

                            So take the fact of having a dirty mind as proof that you are world-savvy; it's not a flaw, it's an asset, if nothing else, it's a defense - Sanna

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by Lilosh
                              Originally posted by Chenier
                              And you would trust something named "Yahoo" for real news? The answer is in the question. =)

                              Yes, Lilosh, more spankings are required, I'm afraid.
                              If you insist!

                              *takes Chenier over his knee, and starts the required spankings*


                              -Lilosh
                              So, what comes after the spankings?

                              /whistles innocently
                              Pottery 159 Tailoring 188 Brewing 170 Baking 178 Smithing 205 Alchemy 114, Fishing 35, JC 15, Fletching 0

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