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10 Misconceptions regarding gnomes
10 Misconceptions regarding gnomes.
1. Gnomes are short.
Actually, gnomes are normal-sized; it's just that everyone else is freakishly tall. It's really annoying trying to talk to humans over a counter that is as high as your head. Banking is such a pain in the neck at most places. Literally. Fortunately, there is a right-sized bank in the Plane of Knowledge. Unfortunately, all the biggies like to use it too. And don't get me started on stairs! My legs look like treants from jumping up so many flights of stairs.
2. Gnomes are absent-minded.
Totally untrue. Sure, gnomes are always curious and inquisitive. We are just trying to figure out how things work, and hopefully, find ways to make them work better. Like this one time, when I found a creaky drawbridge on a castle, I inspected the pulley system, and found the gear ratio was far from optimal. I managed to get the works partly dismantled in order to redo it for the owner, but a group of orcs took advantage of the lowered bridge and entered the castle. The chaos that ensued was...uh, um. What was the question again?
3. All gnomes are tinkerers.
Again, entirely untrue. Some gnomes are engineers, some are designers, others are architects, and a few are simply just builders.
4.
5. Gnomes are absent-minded.
I don't know who started this rumor. Probably those grubby halflings. They're always trying to cause trouble. Why, I once saw a halfling in bar (oops, sorry, being redundant), anyway, he started an argument over the qualities of Gnomish Spirits, but then sneaked out and left the bar patrons brawling on the floor.
6. Gnomes are easily distracted.
False. Gnomes are curious about their surroundings, sure. But when we get on a topic, we stick with -- hey! Are you going to use that sprocket? I've been looking for one just that size.
7. Gnomes can't be monks.
Actually, there is a small enclave of monks, hidden deep in the back of Ak'anon, in a cave that can only be entered from the bottom of the waterfall. Their retreat has to be far from all the tic-toc noise of the rest of our city, so they can concentrate on their studies. Now that they have it soundproof, they can meditate in peace. Expect to see more gnomish monks wandering around Norrath soon.
8. Buy 2 gears, 3 metal shafts, a class eight mana battery, and have all the metal sheets enchanted so they resist magic.
9. Finish plans for building our secret clockwork army and invade Oggok.
10. Plant a large firework under the king's throne in The Warrens. I hate that guy.
Fenbin Dazzlebright
Gnomish Enchanter, Master Tinker and Master Illusionist
10 Wrong idears about da Ogres
1. Ogres ar ugly.
Dis is troo.
2. Ogres ar smelly.
Dis troo two.
3. Ogres ar stoopid.
Dis troo three.
4. Ogres cant count
Ok, dis also be troo.
Fenbin Dazzlesmasher
Ogre Enchanter
(smells suspiciously like clockwork grease and has an unusually high voice for an ogre)
5 Misunderstandings about high elves
1. High elves are the smartest race on Norrath.
We are close, but not quite. The gnomes are much, much, more smarter than we are. Have you seen the things they can create? It boggles our small weak minds.
2. High elves are master builders.
Sure we built this haughty castle to live in, but we had to ask the gnomes for help. They are the true creative minds behind all our constructions.
3. High elves make the best magic users.
Sure, we're kinda smart, but like I said, the intelligence of the gnomish race far exceeds that of our own. We're too busy preening and brushing our hair to study hard.
4. High elves are the most handsome race.
As much as we hate to admit it, once again, the gnomes have us beat in this arena. They're just so cute!
5. High elves make the best paladins.
While we have a lot of paladins throughout the lands, they are nothing compared to a gnomish paladin. And did I mention we love kobolds?
Fenbin Teeth-so-white
High Elf Illusionist
(also smells of clockwork grease, and can't get her eyes off a discarded pile of springs)
5 Misunderstandings about dark elves
1. Dark elves are evil.
That is not true. We are called "dark elves" just because our skin is darker than most other races. Sure, we hate all the rest of you, and want to wipe you off the face of Norrath, but that doesn't mean we're evil.
2. Dark elves love kobolds.
Well, this isn't entirely untrue. We like to keep them as pets because we like the way they smell when they get wet.
3. Dark elves eat their meat raw.
A flat-out lie. There's seasoning involved. They, I mean them -- er, US! We! We use a lot of salt, pepper, and ground liver. I have to go now.
Fenbin K'il-dem'al
Dark Elf Illusionist
(I think you get the idea)
-- C.
1. Gnomes are short.
Actually, gnomes are normal-sized; it's just that everyone else is freakishly tall. It's really annoying trying to talk to humans over a counter that is as high as your head. Banking is such a pain in the neck at most places. Literally. Fortunately, there is a right-sized bank in the Plane of Knowledge. Unfortunately, all the biggies like to use it too. And don't get me started on stairs! My legs look like treants from jumping up so many flights of stairs.
2. Gnomes are absent-minded.
Totally untrue. Sure, gnomes are always curious and inquisitive. We are just trying to figure out how things work, and hopefully, find ways to make them work better. Like this one time, when I found a creaky drawbridge on a castle, I inspected the pulley system, and found the gear ratio was far from optimal. I managed to get the works partly dismantled in order to redo it for the owner, but a group of orcs took advantage of the lowered bridge and entered the castle. The chaos that ensued was...uh, um. What was the question again?
3. All gnomes are tinkerers.
Again, entirely untrue. Some gnomes are engineers, some are designers, others are architects, and a few are simply just builders.
4.
5. Gnomes are absent-minded.
I don't know who started this rumor. Probably those grubby halflings. They're always trying to cause trouble. Why, I once saw a halfling in bar (oops, sorry, being redundant), anyway, he started an argument over the qualities of Gnomish Spirits, but then sneaked out and left the bar patrons brawling on the floor.
6. Gnomes are easily distracted.
False. Gnomes are curious about their surroundings, sure. But when we get on a topic, we stick with -- hey! Are you going to use that sprocket? I've been looking for one just that size.
7. Gnomes can't be monks.
Actually, there is a small enclave of monks, hidden deep in the back of Ak'anon, in a cave that can only be entered from the bottom of the waterfall. Their retreat has to be far from all the tic-toc noise of the rest of our city, so they can concentrate on their studies. Now that they have it soundproof, they can meditate in peace. Expect to see more gnomish monks wandering around Norrath soon.
8. Buy 2 gears, 3 metal shafts, a class eight mana battery, and have all the metal sheets enchanted so they resist magic.
9. Finish plans for building our secret clockwork army and invade Oggok.
10. Plant a large firework under the king's throne in The Warrens. I hate that guy.
Fenbin Dazzlebright
Gnomish Enchanter, Master Tinker and Master Illusionist
10 Wrong idears about da Ogres
1. Ogres ar ugly.
Dis is troo.
2. Ogres ar smelly.
Dis troo two.
3. Ogres ar stoopid.
Dis troo three.
4. Ogres cant count
Ok, dis also be troo.
Fenbin Dazzlesmasher
Ogre Enchanter
(smells suspiciously like clockwork grease and has an unusually high voice for an ogre)
5 Misunderstandings about high elves
1. High elves are the smartest race on Norrath.
We are close, but not quite. The gnomes are much, much, more smarter than we are. Have you seen the things they can create? It boggles our small weak minds.
2. High elves are master builders.
Sure we built this haughty castle to live in, but we had to ask the gnomes for help. They are the true creative minds behind all our constructions.
3. High elves make the best magic users.
Sure, we're kinda smart, but like I said, the intelligence of the gnomish race far exceeds that of our own. We're too busy preening and brushing our hair to study hard.
4. High elves are the most handsome race.
As much as we hate to admit it, once again, the gnomes have us beat in this arena. They're just so cute!
5. High elves make the best paladins.
While we have a lot of paladins throughout the lands, they are nothing compared to a gnomish paladin. And did I mention we love kobolds?
Fenbin Teeth-so-white
High Elf Illusionist
(also smells of clockwork grease, and can't get her eyes off a discarded pile of springs)
5 Misunderstandings about dark elves
1. Dark elves are evil.
That is not true. We are called "dark elves" just because our skin is darker than most other races. Sure, we hate all the rest of you, and want to wipe you off the face of Norrath, but that doesn't mean we're evil.
2. Dark elves love kobolds.
Well, this isn't entirely untrue. We like to keep them as pets because we like the way they smell when they get wet.
3. Dark elves eat their meat raw.
A flat-out lie. There's seasoning involved. They, I mean them -- er, US! We! We use a lot of salt, pepper, and ground liver. I have to go now.
Fenbin K'il-dem'al
Dark Elf Illusionist
(I think you get the idea)
-- C.
Many Thanks!
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