You know you're getting older when ...

[Niami DenMother]

... your hubby has problems keeping a straight face when he says he sees no gray in your hair.

... you realize you're old enough to be the parent of well over half of the gamers that you run into.

... you set a timer to turn down the crockpot, then can't remember why the timer is going off ... then when you figure out why it went off and go to check on the crockpot, you start reciting: "It won't cook anything if it's not plugged in." ... as if that's really going to anything other than make the cats give you odd looks.

... you buy one of your sisters a birthday present an entire month in advance ... then forget to mail it in time -- (sorry Annette! )

... you stop talking in mid-sentence because your train of thought not only derailed, but totally disappeared from the world (ok, ok, this last one is blamed on "fibro fog", but still makes me feel old!)

[Arfyak Reflux]

Yes, and you know you have grown up when...

1. Your houseplants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them.
2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question.
3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed.
5. You hear your favorite song in an elevator.
6. You watch the Weather Channel.
7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of "hook up" and "break up."
8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.
9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up."
10. You're the one calling the police because those f%@#in' kids next door won't turn down the stereo.
11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.
12. You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.
13. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.
14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald's leftovers.
15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.
16. You take naps from noon to 6 PM !
17. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one.
18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 AM would severely upset, rather than settle, your stomach.
19. If you're a gal, you go to the drug store for ibuprofen and antacid, not condoms and pregnancy tests.
20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good stuff."
21. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.
22. "I just can't drink the way I used to" replaces "I'm never going to drink that much again."
23. 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.
24. You drink at home to save money before going to a bar.
25. You read this entire list looking desperately for one sign that doesn't apply to you and can't find one.

[Kakg]

You remember a time before electricity when you had to watch TV by candle light.

[Oona Wynterbreeze]

Some of the artists of the '60s are revising their hits with new lyrics to appeal to aging baby boomers. They include:

Herman's Hermits - Mrs. Brown, You've Got a Lovely Walker

The Bee Gees - How Can You Mend a Broken Hip

Bobby Darin - Splish, Splash, I Was Havin' a Flash

Ringo Starr - I Get By With a Little Help from Depends

Roberta Flack - The First Time Ever I Forgot Your Face

Johnny Nash - I Can't See Clearly Now

Paul Simon - Fifty Ways to Lose Your Liver

Commodores - Once, Twice, Three Times to the Bathroom

Marvin Gaye - I Heard it Through the GrapeNuts

Procol Harem - A Whiter Shade of Hair

Leo Sayer - You Make Me Feel Like Napping

The Temptations - Papa's Got a Kidney Stone

Abba - Denture Queen

Tony Orlando - Knock 3 Times on the Ceiling if you Hear Me Fall

Helen Reddy - I am Woman, Hear me Snore

Willie Nelson - On the Throne Again

Leslie Gore - It's My Procedure and I'll Cry if I Want To

[Ngreth Thergn]

... your hubby has problems keeping a straight face when he says he sees no gray in your hair.

I don't know what she is talking about. She has no grey hair!

[Niami DenMother]

I don't know what she is talking about. She has no grey hair!

Pffttt ... the only snap, crackle, pop that I hear in the mornings comes from my joints, not a breakfast cereal!

[Darknyss]

12. You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.

Taco Bell closes!?!?!

[Kitathia]

Oh Man, I feel old now..

You know you're getting older when:

1. People tell you that age is just a number, you still look young..
2. You don't get carded when going out.. Only to realise the Chuck-E cheese never carded people.
3. When you look at the alarm in the morning wondering why it just rang..
4. When the batteries in your remote is almost dead and you just try to push the buttons on the remote HARDER.
5. When you know the entire text to the SpongeBob intro.
6. When you can't remember the last 5 sentenses for this page cause.. well you're old..



Kitathia

[Tillinghast]

Wait, I had it just a moment ago...



Oh, yeah

When your cheese and milk are made from soy not cows

you play a druid, cause monks and bards make you feel tired

When you know your FICO score, but you have to think about your age

When you know what a FICO score is.

When you stop getting invited to weddings, but you still get invited to funerals

[Niellya]

You remember a time before electricity when you had to watch TV by candle light.

Ummm...

[Lothay]

You know you're getting old when -

You're on a date and a friend says "She's a little young for you, don't you think?"

The scotch isn't older than you.

A great song plays at the club you're at. You remark about how much you like the song, and the pretty woman you're chatting up mentions that the song is from the year she was born. You know, your senior year in high school.

You discover you're the same age as the your date's father.

You walk into a room, and promptly forget why you went in there.

You visit the optomitrist more than you date.

Your pants size stops growing in the length dimension, but continues to grow in the girth dimension.

You actually have something to contribute to a thread like this...

Love ya sis!

[Sanadila]

(ok, ok, this last one is blamed on "fibro fog", but still makes me feel old!)

I didn't know you had fibromyalgia, Niami. So do I. And I can certainly sympathize with the whole fibrofog thing. *laughs* I often forget what I'm saying in mid sentence. And not just what I'm saying, but the whole topic of conversation. My husband is used to me stopping in midsentence, staring blankly for a few seconds, and then asking, "what were we talking about again?"

[Sanadila]

... you realize you're old enough to be the parent of well over half of the gamers that you run into.

This one is so true. A friend of mine who is just a couple of months older than me, has a son in college! And she didn't have him until she was in her 20s! Scary, isn't it.

Heck, if I had started as a teenage mom, some of these gamers could be my grandchildren!

[Scuzz Zilla]

Umm. Why Does most of this apply to me and I'm only 22?

*big frown*

[Nefertiti Nazguul]

Bad habits

Fifteen days ago, I read that smoking can kill you;
The next day I stopped smoking.
Twelve days ago, I read that too much red meat can kill you;
The next day I stopped eating red meat..
8 days ago, I read that drinking can kill you;
The next day I stopped drinking.
Yesterday, I read that having sex can kill you;
This morning I stopped reading.