A temporary goodbye.

[Lilosh]

Ok, here's the deal, traders.

Some of you know that my life has been in a giant pit of poo for a while now. I'm a bitter, depressd, mysogynistic wretch. After a long, heartfelt conversation with the two best freinds I have on this Earth, they have helped me to see a few of the things I'd been blissfully ignoring, and helping me to think through a few things I'd been trying to avoid.

Long story short, I'm unplugging. I've wasted a year or two surfing the web, playing everquest, and vegging in front of my monitor instead of getting done the stuff that NEEDS to get done. (As a side note, Everquest is actually one of the lesser points, and I'm doing this more because I'm doing NOTHING while on my PC then because of Everquest. I'm not quitting or breaking from everquest)

So, for the next 48-72 hours, My computer will be off. This is going to be a test of myself. I am going to sit down analyze myself, and hopefully make the first step or two on the road to life again. Get a haircut, clean and organize my room, and start taking strides to improve myself and my life. With any luck, this will be a turning point for me.


So, to whatever real life God, Spirit, or wise quote you choose to attribute your spiritual well being to in this life, if you could pray for, hope for, think of, or just cross your fingers for me, then I sure as heck won't turn it down. Maybe if enough people give me a psychic boost in this time I'm going to be giving myself a boost, It'll work.


I should be back sometime on Friday. With any luck, I'll be neater, wiser, and happier. At the very least, I'll have two days where I will have gotten some major stuff done.

If ya'll see anyone on this message board, or in game looking for me, feel free to link them to this thread, or just give them a summary. I'll miss you all, but this is something I've gotta do. IfI continue on my current path, I fear only Sanna and a few others know what lies ahead for me. I've spoken to her, Nhin, and Phabos enough that I think they all know, and some can empathise with, the deep depression that life has become.

Well, this post has gone far longer than I meant for it, but then again, I ramble incessantly.

Wish me well, wish me luck, but most of all Wish me Strength.


-Lilosh

[Verdandi]

Sounds like you chose well for your two best friends.

I'll put in a word for you with the Big Man upstairs. Good luck hon, I really hope you find what you're looking for.

[Balkin]

Aye, seems a change was in order eh?

Good luck!

/prayers

/best wishes

[Arakni Spellweaver]

Good luck Noishy. Sometimes we need to just stop what we're doing in order to figure out why we're doing it, and what we're avoiding by doing it.

*hugs*

[KyrosKrane]

For what it's worth, I'm in a similar pickle myself, so I have a sense of what you may be going through.

Best I can offer is two simple phrases.

Life is problems. Living is solving them.

Life happens. Deal with it.

So.

Go live life. =)

[Phabos]

The best to you my friend.

Take care of yourself first, all other things will fall into place.


Phabos

[Sanna]

/super-hugest-hugs-ever to Noishpa.


I look back on November and December, and I realize I felt like a mecha, like someone else was in my head ninty percent of the time, driving me and making me do things. I did not like it. For me, it was a simple thing of not doing something I didn't do before: I stopped taking the BCPs. I was being acted on or at least influenced by an outside source (a condition I despise).


As for Noishpa... it won't be that easy for you, and I wish it were. You deserve it more than I do. I feel I know about 8 percent of what you've got, and extrapolating out the whole 100 percent... I would have snapped a long time ago.


You're stronger than you give yourself credit for, I think, and I think you just have to 'find the muscle' that will let that strength act with it's full range. (You know, like babies flail about because they have power in their muscles, but not concious control.) I will lean with whatever remaining weight and ask with whatever remaining voice that God help you here. You're a good man, Noishpa, and you deserve to sit in the sunlight. Life is plenty short enough as is that even a few days in the dark corner are too much, much less years.

In the words of Piff: "Yooo can doo eet!"

I send many many hugs. Maybe if everyone /hugs more hugs would fix more things ^_^.


-- Sanna
more /hugs.
(Just don't stay away too long, or Krazick will catch up to your post count. ^_^!!)
and it's not goodbye... even temporary.... just... 'see you in a bit' ^_^

[Nhin Impious]

I'll miss you all, but this is something I've gotta do.

Word of advice. Don't cut your own hair.

Not even if it's cheaper, not even if it sounds like it'll be remarkably therapeutic.

And whoever you want or need to be... remember some of us love the person who's been around us, bitterness, depression, misogyny, and wretchedness aside. Sometimes because of it. (I personally find the misogyny charming and oddly comforting. Probably because I'm a pretty wretched one myself.)

I won't beg you to come back. But hey, if you don't... tell me where you're going. I'll follow you.

Nhinx Aphsion
who would follow Noish through lava, naked (and has, but that's another story)

[kiztent]

Getting your life in order is always a good hting, even if I don't have the slighest clue what's going on now because I've had my own weirdness to grapple with.

Blah, I think we all need a "get it in order" macro for life.