Mercenaries: A Tale of Deception

[GrimwoodCT]

I have been in a committed EQ-relationship for about 5 years. I'm not a prude, or vanilla. We swing now and then and have a few partners and groups we get with when we need to spice things up. In general it has worked out.

There is the occasional jealousy or sense of oddness here and there. We have rules. No necros or bards, no outside flagging, no kissing on the mouth and no invitations to the fellowship.

My regular partner (an outstanding boxer with a high end druid and monk) was away from the game last week. I was excited for SoD (no snickering) but she seemed distant or distracted. Emails went unanswered, tells took forever to come back.

"I have school," she protested.
"Family in from Canada," she explained.
"I do not feel well," she exclaimed.

SoD launch came and went. I could see her online but she was /anon. Tells went unanswered, questions to her guildmates were greeted with half-hearted, pitying smiles. We hadn't dinged together in a long time and I was getting twitchy.

I tried to stay active. I tradeskilled, I read, I researched, I finished pottery (freakin' pottery!), almost finished fletching (freakin' fletchin'), I excercised, I ate right, bought myself some new shoes.

Three days had gone by and today I got a tell.

Yo, dude you didn't hear it from me but NAME OMITTED is in Bertox Temple, maybe you should go down there for a minute.

I was excited. Look at the new JC stuff I made, I made it just for you and I baked some gnome shaped cookies (you can tell they are me, they are anatomically correct).

I couldn't zone fast enough. I forgot Perfected Invis, I trained a bunch of halflings, I still had my grimy tradeskilling clothes on. I zoned into the Temple.

She was there.
My lovely petunia.
My delicate buttercup.
My little Cornish hen.
My...
My...
That little HUSSY!

Mercenaries! She was doing it with mercenaries.
"WTH is going on!!!" I thundered.
Even as I raged at her the Merc cleric HoT'd her up.

"Squeaky it isn't what you think," she declared all wide eyed and innocent.
"You're paying him!?!" I screamed righteously.
"I just needed..." she began.
"You needed what?" I roared.
"I don't know, I...I don't know," she sobbed.

I gated (after looting a quest piece) to PoK.
I holed up in the guild lobby with a few stacks of vodka and a mod rod. She has sent a few tells abut they've petered out. We're done. I want my JC stuff back and half the fellowship bank.

Hussy.

I thought we had something good then one day I came home and it was over. Five years of hard work only to be replaced by an algorithm in tight plate pants.

It happened to me, don't let it happen to you.

[cbpbigz]

Brilliant!!!!!

[Konjure]

Classic!

[Clubfingers]

Perfect 10!

[GrimwoodCT]

Wait, it gets worse...

I took her back.

We were cordial, if not cautious around each other. We split drops fairly, she missed a heals, I missed a few mezzes. She asked for C8, C6 was cast, she zephyr'd me, I summoned a jester.

After a few hunts she was asking for cleric spells, gems, wanting me to brew some Kaladim Constitutionals (her man-merc was a dorf). She asked if I could Illusion: Dwarf myself. I noted a stooped nature to her posture, her summoned/foraged food had long beard hairs in them, she scremed "UNDERFOOT!" at odd times. After our hunts she'd go to North Kaladim and be /afk for hours.

One day she said she had a camp, a good one. Come to Steam Factory, fast to 85, good pulls. I arrive and he is there.

I ask him, in tells, what is going on.
No response, like he isn't even there.
She is pulling, looting, emoting to him.
I feel cuckolded. He buffs me then sits down, I click off his patronizing buffs and he buffs me again. She dies, I rise heroically to rez her on my pally.

**** HIM! 96% rez.

I tell her, "You don't need me, why am I even here?"

We want you to watch. Watch us...

And I watch. 85 isn't that far off and she'll come around.

Soon, though, I hope. I hate buffing him.
And getting him food.
And beer.
And exp.