Seethe Seethe Seethe Seethe

[KennyCelican]

I hate them all with an implacable, seething hatred. :evil: I want to go home and deal with something rational, like the RNG, or the Guards in South Qeynos who don't like my Ogre even after he's been the scourge of Blackburrow for the past week.

:evil: :evil: :evil:

Lilosh, you know who I mean.

:evil:

RAAAARRRAAARRGGGGGHHH!!!!!

Ok, I feel better now. Sorry to bother you all.

[Lilosh]

Its ok, they dont know any better.


I just wish they would all leave me the heck alone.


I go home at night, and I dont speak a word. I turn off my computer sound sometimes, and just enjoy the silence


-Lilosh

[DraconisNoir]

And my family and friends wonder why I don't answer the phone.

I tell them to be grateful I still have a working phone instead of a broken quisinart.


RING, RING, R.....VROOOOOMMMM!!

Silence is a beautiful thing.

[KennyCelican]

I don't turn down the sound, I like the screams of pain and anguish.

In fact, I often imagine that if I were allowed to beat on them, they'd sound a lot like a Gnoll receiving beatdown.

At the same time, I flinch when the phone rings at home.

I wonder what they'd do if I changed the hold music to Michael Jackson's leave me alone?

[Blaithin]

I think the only way I got through my one and only phone tech support job was by listening to the interesting messages that went to voice mail. Silly people should learn not to leave their speakphones on when going to voice mail. You get to listen to many strange and ... interesting conversations that way. :D

[KennyCelican]

:D

I saw your sig and thought it said "Tech Druid"

And now I'm thinking of my Druish friend Myrmidel's look - all black-jumpsuit with metallic boots and gloves, looks very VR-ish.

Anywho, the way I get through my day is thinking of the wild weird wacky folks who are WAY too grateful, cheerful, or intoxicated, and offer excessive thanks (such as offers to bear children, or at least practice at the production of same) upon successful resolution of their problems.

Those REALLY amuse me.

[Eumerin]

Bleah...
It can be just as bad on the other end. At least I can hang up on people, though. The other night, I had a phone conversation with someone (I'm fairly certain from some company) that went something like this:
Them - "Hello. Is so-and-so there?"
Me - "I'm sorry. No one with that name lives here."
T- "Is this (recites my phone number)?"
M- "Yes it is."
T- "Is so-and-so there?"
M- "I'm sorry. No one with that name lives here."
T- "Is this (recites my phone number)?"
M- "Yes it is."
T- "Is so-and-so there?"
M- "I already told you there's no one here with that name."
T- "Is thi-"
M- "Bye."
*click*

[Lilosh]

No, Im sorry.

It can not POSSIBLY be as bad on the other end

1) You have to deal with one of us. We have to deal with 30-50 of you each day.

2) You can hang up on us. We get fired if we do the same.

3) Did I mention we have to deal with 30-50 of you each day? And that 95% of those make us want to tear our hair out. *cry*


Broken,
-Lilosh

[KakarSmakar]

Heh, the ones with the really stupid questions, I put them on hold for 5 minutes or so. Sometimes they actually think about what they are asking me, and figure out the problem for themselves. It's amazing how folks can actually think when they aren't immediately spoon-fed an answer.

Kakar

[Lilosh]

Sometimes they actually think about what they are asking me, and figure out the problem for themselves.

And sometimes, they ..errmm... Bork.... things up even worse.

I had a different word, but it wasnt nice. :)


-Lilosh

(And for the record, I would like it noted that *I* didnt start the first tech-support rant! hah!)

[Jannelle Silverthorne]

It's debatable which is worse.

The ones who admit to knowing nothing and expect to have us fix it.
The ones who think they know what they're doing and don't call until after it's FUBAR.

Personally, I kinda like the first ones now. They're quick fixes and don't normally hassle me about other things while I'm fixing it. Course that's now that I do deskside support, I hated both equally when I did phone support.

[Niami DenMother]

I was "lucky". My one stint with tech support was for a university library system. While I earned only a (low end) secretary's wages for doing all hardware support, software support, user support, installations, upgrades, etc., I was a goddess in their eyes. {impgrin}

The guy who had the job before me (who moved on to become the network admin for their network) had NO people skills, so when I came on the scene and was willing to hand-hold several dozen massively computer-phobic librarians (and take away their dumb terminals and replace them with very feared networked PCs) without insulting them and making them feel stupid, they loved me to pieces.

I may have needed TWO extra jobs on the side to make ends meet, but I was happily showered in chocolate for doing the simplest of things.

(Including resisting the urge to scream at the Science librarian, of all people, for calling in not once, but THREE times in the same week because her printer wasn't working. The first time I hiked across campus, plugged in the printer and trekked back to my office. The second and third time, I simply gently asked her if it was plugged in, and let her go from there.)

[Laearya Lifeblood]

I develop and support SCADA software...I could add sooooo many stories of idiotic problems here, lol.

The most fun I've had is when I got a call from a Canadian brewery with a guy asking me why his bottles were jamming, popping out and smashing on the floor...had absolutely nothing to do with the control software, but he was 100% sure it did.

Talk about alcohol abuse though :D

[Blaithin]

:D

I saw your sig and thought it said "Tech Druid"

And now I'm thinking of my Druish friend Myrmidel's look - all black-jumpsuit with metallic boots and gloves, looks very VR-ish.



Heehee. I'm that too.

Gotta get me som nifty Black gear. My leather look is so outdated.

[Goresmash]

Ooo, can I tell you guys one of my tech support stories please? :)

One Friday afternoon I am working the Helpdesk cause everyone else in the department is having a day off. And being a Friday it is more or less quiet. I get a call from one of the Engineers in the R&D department that he is having some computer problems and I need to go see him. I told him that I had a couple other people to see before him and I would be there in about a half hour.

So I put the Helpdesk phone on voicemail and head out on my rounds. Well given the nature of technical support the half hour ended up being an hour and a half. So I walk up to his cubicle and stop in shocked amazement. There scattered all over the floor is his computer, seperated into ALL its various parts. I ask him what he was doing disassembling his computer. He told me that since I was late he thought if he took it all apart he could figure out what was wrong himself.

I just walked away cause I didn't know if I wanted to fall down laughing, or crying. I just went back to my office, told my boss what had happened and stayed there for an hour hiding from all the users.

Oh they are a scarry lot. :)

[Jannelle Silverthorne]

There scattered all over the floor is his computer, seperated into ALL its various parts. I ask him what he was doing disassembling his computer. He told me that since I was late he thought if he took it all apart he could figure out what was wrong himself.

Prime example of my second type of user above.
I work for a company that designs and builds avionics equipment. The engineers we have are some of the best but that doesn't mean they know anything about the care and maintenance of a computer.

[Lilosh]

Even better is the man who rattles off his A+, CCNA, MCSE certifications, who calls in, and REFUSES to check to see if the cable is securely plugged in.


After yelling, screaming, and cursing at me, finally agrees to check, all the time telling me I am the son of a motherless goat.



I will leave you all to guess at the outcome.


-Lilosh

[Lothay]

Ah the glory days of doing technical support.

I did it myself for quite a while.

I was one of a few techs fully qualified on every product our company supported, and I worked the graveyard shift (for the 7% pay differential - I needed the money).

What that usually meant, is that I got all the calls in the queue for the odd-ball products, and often got to be the last to leave. Sometimes after 5 am.

The best was this fellow who called in 5 nights runing, and spoke to me. He became convinced that I was the only support person working in the center. So much so that when he called on a different shift, got another tech, he told them he'd call back when I was available.

Or then there was my friend in the cubicle next to me who would turn of the microphone on his headset, and describe the "ancient chicken sacrifice ritual" so that we thought he was telling customers to use magic to fix computer problems.

Or the most fun was the fellow who after getting to speak to me (on my first night) started out with "Get your corporate counsel on the phone, I want to speak to your attourney." After spending some time to calm him down, I fixed his "broken internal modem, damaged by YOUR software" with a simple cold-boot of the computer.

Ah yes, I did my time in the trenches, and if I could find someone hiring right now, I'd probably take another job doing.

- Lothay

[Lilosh]

Ah yes, I did my time in the trenches, and if I could find someone hiring right now, I'd probably take another job doing.

- Lothay

Come to Florida, I'll hook you up.


Pay is decent, work enviorment is nice, customers are imbeciles.


But it has ME!


-Lilosh

[Alaza]

Gotta love internet tech support, when I used to work for a 'Major National ISP' that was founded using startup money generated by a ponzi scheme *clears throat* doing tech support, it wasn't always the customers who were the biggest idiots, by the time I left it was the management who needed to be hit by a clue-by-four (my favorite was them 'simplifying' the tech support process for dial-up problems... instead of reinstalling TCP/IP from the control panel they wanted the dial up techs to take customers into the registry and directly edit keys... oh, and concurrent with that reducing call time standards from 12 minutes to 5... brilliant, no? Lets take these same idiots who can't figure out how to plug their modem to their phone line without a tech walking them through it step by step and go into the Windows Registry and edit keys....)

[KennyCelican]

Um, Alaza?

Who do you think is calling you?

You guessed it, those same folks making the management decisions.

Spent 4 years in business school. Got sick of dealing with suit types, got Bio degree, started working in computers.

Now suit types are everywhere. Not one of them has a job skill you'd pay someone OUTSIDE your company for, but they know how to network and how to look good.

[Psychosis]

LMAO Gods that bring back the days when I did all that. And I am A+ certified. But I also have 4 Years Trench support err umm Tech support yea thats it.

Coffee cup holder anyone? :roll: :shock:

[Lilosh]

I just had a 30-45 minute call.
Self-professed "Computer Dummy".

Spent 30 minutes helping her uninstall and reinstall, and windows is NOT detecting her printer.

I suggested she try replacing the cable, or trying a different PC. (To see if the problem is the port on her machine, the cable, or the port on the printer)

And do you know what she had the nerve to tell me?

"I dont think either of those are gonna fix it". She had her own idea that the cartridges were somehow fooling windows, or some such nonsense.

I had to bite back the "If you are so sure of what will fix it, go ahead and fix it, and call me back to let me know how it all worked out."


-Lilosh

[Psychosis]

Actual call for me. what was it 3 4 years ago.

Lady called up for help.

She asked "Can you help me my printer isnt working".

I say "Sure what seems to be the problem".

She says "My printer will not install what am I doing wrong'?

I ask "Ok what is your error message".

She says "What error message".

I say "The one that you should be getting on your computer screen telling you that the printer cant install properly".

Needless to say this goes on for about 5 to 10 min. I am getting frustrated this is in my 2nd month on the job mind you. I call the mentors for help they were monitroing my call *AHHH CRAPPP* They tell me to ask where the printer is in relation to the computer.

I say " Mam where is the printer right now"?

She says "Oh well its still in the box".

***MUTE MIC ::::::: SCREAM COMMING ON :::::::***

Call mentors on how they want me to proceed. They told me to stay on the phone till it was out of the box connected installed and working. I was like ?? You want me to what? This is not in out support guidelines at all. Its in the guidelines that the printer is supposed to be Out of the BOX and Plugged in. They said they didnt care that I was going to do it.

Needless to say I had to stay on the phone for 1 hour while this lady did all this.

[Glatius2]

Couple of stories from when I worked in the Operations center for a mid-sized company. I was on the graveyard shift and after midnight we handled the inhouse customer service since the help desk was unmanned.

Background information. We literally processed hundreds of jobs each night. Each job can produce multiple reports. Each report had an individual report name. The users usually referred to the reports by the report name while we in Operations dealt primarily with the job name (the thing that actually generated the report). We had a cross reference we could use to determine from the report name which job generated the report and could thereby check status, etc.

A user from one of our warehouses calls around 3 am in the morning.

"Where is my 1 am report," she asks.
"Do you know the job name ma'am?".
"No."
"Do you know the report name?"
"No."
"Do you know anything else about the report that might help me find out which it is?"
"Well it always shows up on my printer around 1 am."

Talk about not particularly helpful (given that literally dozens of jobs run in the 1 am window). Very frustrating

Another one. A use calls one night, complaining that her printer wasn't working and she wanted service on that printer right NOW. Well after normal business hours service was more expensive, we normally didn't call for after hours service until after we had really determined that the printer was malfunctioning due to a mechanical problem and not because of a software issue or a user issue.

I ask about the error message she is getting. No error message. I ask her to check her printer, is there an error light lit or some other error indicator? No. Well what exactly is the indication there is a problem? Well when she prints, the print out doesn't come out. And now she is getting adament she wants a printer technician there pronto! I try and ask her whether or not the the printer is plugged in, etc. And she is getting furious with me. So I throw up my hands, explain the situation to my Manager and pass her to him.

He proceeds to spend another 45 minutes with her on the phone, only to discover that someone had gone into her default printer settings and changed the default to a different printer in the same room! Apparently the fact that every time she tried to print, something came out of a different printer right near her normal one didn't register.....

[Lilosh]

Psychosis, That reminds me...


2 days ago.

Lilosh: "Thank you for calling Company, this is Lilosh.....(get basic customer info)......... How may I help you?"

Customer : "It wont install"

Lilosh: "Ok, are you getting any kind of error message? What exactly is happening that makes you say it wont install? Can you go ahead and go read the error message for me?"

Customer: "Ok, hold on" (footsteps, mouse clicking, keyboard tapping, footsteps back) "It says 'This thingie won't install' " She was speaking as though reading it off the screen.


At this point, I stopped , stared at the phone , and blinked for at least a minute, speechless. She literally drained the words out of my head. I think you could HEAR me blinking.

It was one of the things that inspired my newest Signature.

-Lilosh

[Psychosis]

LMAO OMG I almost feel out of my chair laughing.

[Doomspark Deathfire]

Oh I could tell you stories... In fact, I will tell you TWO stories.

I work for a global corporation that shall remain nameless, doing "remote access support", which means broadband, dial, vpn, etc. And, like many other companies, we have our own dial software which we ship out to customers. We make this software for multiple platforms, and still have OS/2 and Windows 3.x versions out there.

Story #1: (four years ago)

Customer calls and says "Your software won't fit in my computer any more!"

After some back and forth conversation, it turns out that she has been running our software from a 5.25" floppy, and for some reason she can't fit the disk into the drive any more. I go through the usual things... "is the drive door open, is there another disk in the drive, etc". No joy.

So I ask her when was the last time it worked. Yesterday morning, she tells me. And no, she hasn't installed any new software, hasn't gotten a new computer, no changes.

So I finally ask her if anyone else uses her computer. She says "no, but the network guy was working on it yesterday afternoon."

"Aha!" I say. "What did the network guy do?"

She puts me on hold for 10 minutes while she tries to find the note he left for her. Finally... she comes back on the line and says "the note says I cleaned the virus off your hard disk, but you'll have to clean your floppies yourself."

Me: "What software did you use to clean the floppies?"

**insert long pause**
Her: "Software? I took them home and put them in the dishwasher!"

EPILOGUE:
A few weeks ago, this very same lady called me back. It seems that she has ANOTHER virus on her computer, and this time she wants ME to fly all the way to Alaska to fix it. I live in Florida!

Story #2: (three years ago)

I pick up the phone and am greeted with a longwinded rant about how our software sucks and our service sucks and no one in my company understands his problem. This goes on for about three minutes before I can get a word in edgewise.

This gentleman is attempting to install the DOS version of our software, and it's not working. The install doesn't give him any errors, but the files don't unzip. Well, our DOS product was developed for MS-DOS 5.00, and won't install on anything else. So I ask him what version of DOS he has, and he doesn't know. VER gives "Bad command or file name", and he has no C:\DOS directory. Curiouser and curiouser, as Alice would say.

So I tell him to reboot his computer so he can tell me what he sees on the screen. He replies that he's been taught to always type EXIT before rebooting. I ask him what happens when he types EXIT, and he says "Restarting Windows".

Ah, he's trying to run our DOS software on a Windows box. And I ask him if he's tried our Windows software. He replies that he has it, and it doesn't work either. Sure enough, our Windows software tells me that there are no comm ports on his computer (COM PORT IN USE OR NOT INSTALLED, for you Techies).

Now I'm really scratching my head. I finally suggest restarting the computer and bringing it up in safe mode. So I tell him to click on Start, Shutdown, and Restart - and then press and hold the F8 key. Standard MS troubleshooting. Then I say, "OK, what do you have on the screen?"

He replies: "Welcome to Macintosh!"

Since this is already a long story, I'll shorten it a bit. It seems that his son bought him a Macintosh and put Virtual PC on it - not knowing that my company also makes our software for Macintoshes. Then when the Windows software didn't work, they tried the DOS software... and when that didn't work... they called me.

Ya got to wonder some times!

[Lilosh]

I pick up the phone and am greeted with a longwinded rant about how our software sucks and our service sucks and no one in my company understands his problem. This goes on for about three minutes before I can get a word in edgewise.

I can not begin to describe how much I DESPISE this.


This instantly lowers my level of friendliness, and indirectly my level of helpfulness.

No matter how frustrated you are , you have NOTHING to gain by telling me that My Company (who pays me decently well), My CoWorkers (Many of whom are friends of mine), and My Product (Which I am PAID to support and recommend) are horrible, worthless, stupid, and (Insert your choice of vulgarity here.)

Not only won't I , and can't I agree with you, but you have just cut 90% of any chance I would have of bending the rules, or going above and beyond what is required of me.

And doing so right off the bat, first thing, is unforgiveable.

Being upset and frustrated is perfectly understandable. Being a rude, inconsiderate person to some innocent schmuck whose phone just rang is NOT.


-Lilosh

[Kritta]

I've never worked for a tech line, as I'll admit - I'm not the sharpest knife in the computer drawer. However, I do know how to follow directions and how to respond as best I can.

In short, I had a problem with my Gateway computer (found out later I had a burned out power source) and called asking for assistance. I told them it wouldn't turn on, etc. After 10 minutes of trying to tell him I couldn't get into "safe mode" because it wouldn't turn on he finally breathed deeply and asked me ...

GateWay: Ma'am, could you perhaps put your husband on the phone?

I'm not married, but totally got where he was going with that *smirk* Let's just say I was not a happy camper. ;)

[Lilosh]

Kritta:


Valid point. Idiots are found on both ends of the phone. Some people working tech support are there because, as someone put it on the old board, "They give good phone"

Placing customer satisfaction above EVERYTHING ELSE, including technical expertise, Is the biggest mistake made by Tech Support call centers, methinks.


-Lilosh

[Blaithin]

GateWay: Ma'am, could you perhaps put your husband on the phone?

I'm not married, but totally got where he was going with that *smirk* Let's just say I was not a happy camper. ;)

If anyone says that, you should immediately ask for their manager. Any of the techs who have worked under me know that if they ever said something as demeaning as that to any client, they'd be in my office getting an earful.

After saying that, I've had something similar to that said to me over the phone, but instead, they're asking for a male tech who'd say the EXACT same thing. Of course, at this time, I was the senior/2nd line technician, so I advise them that would not get the same level of support, but if they want to talk to a first level tech, they may. Of course, they'd end up calling me back with the same issue complaining about their level of support for the tech I transferred them to.

Ahhhh, tech support.

[Lilosh]

Agreed.

I should have mentioned that. Sexism is NEVER appropriate.

Definately ask for a supervisor next time


-Lilosh

[Psychosis]

Well spoken and wel said

[Doomspark Deathfire]

I've been on the other side of the fence as well...

Case in point: Verant Interactive

For the last 2 weeks, every time I log onto EQ and load a character, my default language has been set to something OTHER than Common Tongue. With some it's Barbarian, with some it's Elvish, and with some it's "an unknown tongue". So I've been having to /lang 1 EVERY frikkin time I play.

Can't get a GM to respond to my petitions, so I decide to try the vaunted EQ Live Chat. (can't you just HEAR my voice dripping with sarcasm?)

I explain the problem to the tech and he says, "You have the wrong language selected in the patcher."

I say "I'm not talking about the program language, I'm talking about the language that my character speaks in-game."

He says "Uninstall and reinstall the game. That will fix it."
------------------------------
IMHO, that's kind of like doing surgery with a chainsaw. Yes, it will fix the problem, but doesn't really explain what's wrong.

[Shanelle Heartogold]

hehe Well... while I wasn't in tech support... I can definitely sympathize with the frustrations of working on the receiving end of a call center.

A few years back, I did about a year-long stint as an ariline reservationist (for various airlines... under an umbrella company). My absolute FAVORITE call was one where, after the gentleman (who was very polite and friendly the entire time) had made his reservations, had one last request...

"... and can you please make sure the plane takes off on time? Every time I have taken this arilines the flight has been delayed due to weather!"

Well... after a couple of second's pause (during which time I dragged my jaw back up off the floor and tried to control the almost overwhelming urge to laugh in the guy's ear)... I replied...

"Of course sir! (with a smile in my voice) I'll make sure they have excellent weather that day so you won't have any need for concern!"

Yes friends... customer service CAN be amusing as well as frustrating... and the customer is ALWAYS right! lol Or at least you always have to let them THINK they are! hehehe

[Shanelle Heartogold]

Oh... one other thing. During that same job... one of my supervisors had a mantra that he would recite after "difficult" calls... just to help re-center himself...

"Would you like fries with that?.... Would you like fries with that?... Would you like fries with that?... (repeated as needed until sanity returns)"

[Ramlador]

I currently work as a consultant in a computer lab, so most of my problems revolve around filling the printer with paper and showing people how to do things that I can understand them not knowing how to do.

Some of these stories remind me of my days when I was one of those unofficial tech guys at my high school. One day a teacher had me come to their classroom to figure out why her printer wasn't installing. After I did the preliminary things of checking power and basic software stuff, I went to unplug and plug back in all the connections.

It was at this time that I found that instead of plugging the parallel cable properly into the port, whoever had done it had smashed down flat all of the pins so that none of them were connecting.

After bending them all back enough to slide into their respective holes, the printer installed fine. I explained what the problem had been, but for some reason she had that look on her face like "and why would that have made it not work?"

At least being able to see it myself probably saved me hours of phone time.

[Tanaysa]

I am feeling a little paranoid.. :)

I called a tech support and had NO CLUE what I was going wrong and got the nicest woman and she was so much help. Never made me full stupid and was so polite...

Was she silently cursing me out?

Ah well, at least it was silent and she did fix it for me LOL

On behalf of all tech support callers THANK YOU for fixing my PC :)

[ArrakeenNaedShoj]

"Would you like fries with that?.... Would you like fries with that?... Would you like fries with that?... (repeated as needed until sanity returns)"

ROFLMAO. Someone once asked me how I could hate a job making 50k a year with the ability to play EQ all night long. My answer has always been, "Because the challenges were the same as those encountered when asking, 'Would you like fries with that sir?'"


I am feeling a little paranoid..

I wouldn't worry about it too much, I would say from my own experience at least 98% of my calls were not bad experiences. The only time I ever got frustrated were with users who were rude to me. Of course If you happened to be unlucky enough to call right after I got of the phone with one of the 2%, you would probably get mocked while on hold or with the mic muted, but it really wouldn't be your fault, and I wouldn't worry about it. It would be the techie still venting from the last call.

Since everyone else is telling their own horror stories I guess I will throw one in myself, since I just left the wonderful world of phone support for a major corporation.

About 3 months or so ago, we had a major rollout of a new VPN software, designed to allow all the people in the company to use their own ISP to connect to our Intranet and access their company email, websites, news bulletins, applications, and sub systems. We had had previous VPN software rollouts, as well as dial up offerings, so this was nothing new, and knowing how poorly the past ones went, the engineering team had this time made a REALLY well documented instruction set for the users that told them step by step in plain english how to complete this process.

Of course, since reading is fundamental, I would invariably get at least one caller a night who couldn't figure out that there were these things called letters, which were used to form words, which were then arranged to complete sentences used to communicate directions on how to accomplish a complex task.

On one night I got a call that went something like...

Me: "Good evening this is...how may I help you?"

User(Irate): "I can't get into the VPN!"

Me: "Could you describe what is happening?"

User(Irate): "Your software doesn't work, your instructions make no sense, and I can't get into the VPN!"

Me: "Which step in the instructions are you at sir?"

User(Irate): "The last one!"

Me: "Well sir can you read it to me, and we will see if we can't figure this out."

User(Snidely): "Ok. Step Five, Connect to the internet using your ISP. Once connected, Doubleclick on the VPN connector Icon on your desktop(looks like a globe). Enter your password and hit connect. Once it says you are connected Open an Internet Explorer window and type in the adrress "bleh", if it shows you the web page you are connected."

Me: "Ok, at which point in that process are you having problems?"

User(Rudely): "What process?"

Me: "The process of...(Read Step Five to him, right off the page)"

User: "Where does it say to do that?"

Me: "In step five."

User: "No It doesn't, it says..(Reads Step Five to me, again)"

Me: "Ok so do...(Reads step five to him, again)"

User(angrier than ever): "But it doesn't say to do that, it says...(Yells step five back at me)"

Me: "Ok sir, try this for me..(Proceeds to walk the user through step five, reading each portion and forcing him to do them, afterward user successfully connects)"

User(Still angry): "Now why couldn't it have said that in the instructions!"

I spent ten minutes after that call screaming profanities into the Dial-tone and throwing my headset accross the room. It made me feel better, and gave my coworkers a laugh. Luckily my manager had overheard most of the phone call, so he didn't get upset when I freaked out.

Dang, I am so glad to finally be out of that god-forsaken place.

[Lilosh]

I am feeling a little paranoid.. :)

I called a tech support and had NO CLUE what I was going wrong and got the nicest woman and she was so much help. Never made me full stupid and was so polite...

Was she silently cursing me out?

Ah well, at least it was silent and she did fix it for me LOL

On behalf of all tech support callers THANK YOU for fixing my PC :)

I have had calls where some nice lady, or (rarer) a nice gentleman have called me an knows nothing about printers, or very little about computers , and admitted that fact. They then proceeded to LISTEN, Read off the screen correctly, and show a fair amount of kindness, and knowledge of how to communicate.

These are very wonderful, happy calls.

The calls where, in addition to not knowing where to find their computer, not knowing how to turn it on, and having no interest in knowing anything, they cant read anything off their screen correctly, cant tell me whats wrong. In addition, they are impatient, rude, sarcastic (Which is fine with friends and message boards, but not on the phone), and demeaning.

These are the calls I post about.


Sadly, the balance leans more towards the latter. People tend to not only be ignorant, but they manage to sound PROUD of their ignorance. They say, with a beaming smile in their voice

"Man, I dont know ANYTHING! about computers... Im just, i guess you could say a....*chuckle* COMPUTER DUMMY" , at which point the dissolve into laughter as though they have just discovered the funniest joke in exsistance.

-Lilosh

[Psychosis]

The self proclaimed idiot will remain thus.

[Kirstin Thornhill]

I am never impolite to tech support. Even if they don't know what is what, I asked them for help. Kinda like hanging over the edge of a cliff, you shouldn't be rude to the guy with the rope that can save you.

I got a Gateway in 1998, pretty computer illiterate at that point in time. I subscribed to Gateway.net, and had the customer support number taped to my monitor.

About 3 months after getting my new machine, I bagan having trouble getting my mail with Outlook Express. Timeouts. Password not recognized.

After 5 hours of this, and checking everything I could, including cold reboots, a different phone line for my dial up, I gave up and called tech support. The woman that answered was VERY condescending, as she talked me through reinstalling drivers, changing settings, switching ports, and not getting the problem fixed. The longer she worked with me, the more condescending she got, insinuating that I had somehow "done something" to the machine.

After doing this for an hour, I asked if I could talk to her supervisor. This supervisor informed me that mail services would be delayed, due to a cut fiberoptic cable in Georgia. He talked me through resetting everything on my machine back to where it was, and told me to check back in the morning, when the repair was scheduled to be finished.

That was my only real encounter with tech support. I read instruction manuals before attempting to use products, no matter how simple they are. I learn all I can, because that one experience taught me that Tech Support people sometimes know what is going on, and what they are doing, and sometimes are just going down a checklist...




(Incidentally, I built my own computer last December, and am my own tech support at this point. I may not know *your* machine, but I do know mine.)

[Ladyskunk]

Okies, I've worked for two other tech companies, now however, I find myself working for an alarm company here in Florida, no we're not true techs like you Lilosh and many others, but it definately beats my last job.

My horror story, happend lastnight. I work graveyard for an alarm company (can't miss them, their bloody commercials cause more problems, and their call centers do not look like a war room extra like they show, with a supervisor standing over the shoulder of the phone rep.).

Lady calls up, elderly, irate, and screaming.

"How dare we show her code for her alarm system in the commercial."

For those of you with alarm systems, please, please, please.. change it from the default of 1234. On the comercial you can easily see the code of 1234 being entered to arm the system and pretty little 0's and 1's flying all about the walls, ceiling, and floors.

It took well over 20 minutes, 20 bloody minutes to get it through the skull of this lady (trust me, I wanna use worse language.) that what they were showing is the default code that every alarm manufacturer sets the systems to, and then she wanted to change it. On top of that, after the 20 minute marker she asked to speak to a male tech.

Gave me a chuckle, I know QA is gonna hit me on it too... My response was sure, but I'm the one who trained all the men here on this shift.

But still, it definately beats having to say, "would you like fries with that?" :)

Take care all.

Softpaw Runeclaw
52nd level Primalist
(eternal fizzler)
Test Server

[Lilosh]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA


"HOW DARE YOU SHOW MY ALARM CODE!!!"


So, what part of Florida??

-Lilosh

[Ladyskunk]

Northern part, Jacksonville. Bleh, time to go back to work,

Take care.

Soft

[Unidin]

you know the address?

/grin

[Ladyskunk]

Yep, I know my address, and no, I wont give it out.. Already been burned once when I first started playing about on the internet, husbby and the idiot almost ripped into each other, as the one person decided to try and take it one step further than just a friendly meeting (that and the fact my husband went along when I asked him to kinda made things strained for him I guess. :) ). It took a threat of calling the PD to keep him away after about a week.

So needless to say, and its all me when I say this, I don't trust anyone that I meet on the internet and any offer to meet is an accident/argument/fight/heart break/potential stalking waiting to happen.

Again, its meant as no offense to anyone, its just that after being burned once I learn so I don't repeat what might cause the problem.

Ah well,

Take care all.

LS

[Lothay]

I think he was joking about the lady calling about her alarm code...

Not really funny, but not as not funny as the other...

- Lothay

[Lilosh2]

I hate them all with an implacable, seething hatred.


I can not stress this enough.
I hate them. With every fiber of my being.

Were the economy better, I would seek a better job.

I wish they would all just leave me he bloody heck alone.

I am on the verge of screaming at this dumb *expletive* on the phone, and telling her exactly what she can do with her nice shiny printer.


AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH HHH


please help me, my will to live is draining.


-Lilosh

[Verdandi]

Were the economy better, I would seek a better job.
Why not seek a job anyway? You stand to gain an infinite improvement in job satisfaction and an enormous boost in overall happiness. It sounds like it would completely change your life at this point. At worst you risk wasting some time. I'd say that's a worthwhile gamble! Just cause the economy is down doesn't mean there aren't *any* jobs out there, after all! Read the Want Ads with a creative eye. My degree is in sociology/anthropology but my job is doing the finances (among other things) for the library of a local college. Don't feel like you have to focus strictly on the kinds of jobs you've always been doing or always thought you'd do.

[Ladyskunk]

(queue that evil Darth Vador/Imperial March theme from Starwars - edit - no, queue the Black burrow background music)

Come to the dark side, Lilosh, join the tech support for the security services industry. (edit - show massive war room movie exerpts from topgun and any other WW2 movies, also don't forget to add some neato radar images and oh yeah, don't forget to show everyone the default code being punched in. Edit/edit - No, scrap that, show Emperor Crush and Ambassador Dvinn both conning very red and scowling at you ready to attack, perhaps even let them attack the viewer.)

Trade your computer and printer troubles for even more fun and exciting issues.

Here is just a little of what you get.

1. Complete loss of any mechanical aptitude of the callers (i.e. Whats a screw driver and how do you use it.).

2. Mental Lapses when customers' try to remember their personal identification codes.

3. Ear splitting sounds as your customers just have to talk to you while next to the siren thats blaring in the same room their in, from an award winning single headset that could give the TDX promo for movies a run for its money.

But wait!!! Thats not all, if you act now you'll also get -

1. Personal debasement that would leave a Bertox high priest beaming with pride when the customer with a doctorate in basket weaving has had a bad day and wants to make sure you have one to. ("Already did that", "nope, didn't work the last time I spoke with tech support and I don't want to schedule a tech to come out", "What again?", or that all time favorite "You (beep) (beep) (beep) can't get it working, why the (beep) do I bother paying you your (beep) fees each month. I demand to speak with your supervisor now!".)

2. Getting to grow your own personal relationship with your supervisor when he/she gets to talk with your customers and explain to them again why they get to pay an "exhorbant" fee just to get the tech out there at 2 a.m. in the morning.

But theres even more great value!

Plus if you act now, you'll even get this handy dandy Personal Stress increasing effect. Your customers will expect you to be able to repair their alarm systems through the phone lines and demand it all now. Even after letting them know the contrary five times.

Yes, you'll get personal stress, debasement, aggrivation, humiliation, humbling, and learn how to apologize for anything and everything that isn't you or your companies fault.

You get all of that and more when you come join the Dark side of the alarm services industry.

Operators within HR departments are standing by now to take your calls.

Call - 1-800-545-6669, that number again, 1-800-KIL-M-NOW

(edit - end shot, show some footage from bad guys, you know the type, being handcuffed and stuffed into a squad car. Better yet, lets show some footage of Freeport guards doing a beat down on a poor hapless ogre.).

Seriously, its not all that bad.. I'm being too sarcastic, but it does get interesting more often than not.

Take care all.

*hugs*

LS

[Lilosh]

1. Personal debasement that would leave a Bertox high priest beaming with pride when the customer with a doctorate in basket weaving has had a bad day and wants to make sure you have one to. ("Already did that", "nope, didn't work the last time I spoke with tech support and I don't want to schedule a tech to come out", "What again?", or that all time favorite "You (beep) (beep) (beep) can't get it working, why the (beep) do I bother paying you your (beep) fees each month. I demand to speak with your supervisor now!".)

2. Getting to grow your own personal relationship with your supervisor when he/she gets to talk with your customers and explain to them again why they get to pay an "exhorbant" fee just to get the tech out there at 2 a.m. in the morning.

But theres even more great value!

Plus if you act now, you'll even get this handy dandy Personal Stress increasing effect. Your customers will expect you to be able to repair their alarm systems through the phone lines and demand it all now. Even after letting them know the contrary five times.

Yes, you'll get personal stress, debasement, aggrivation, humiliation, humbling, and learn how to apologize for anything and everything that isn't you or your companies fault.


Ahh.. Sounds like my job.

1) These people annoy me. "I already did that". "I dont want to do that". "look, just make it work, ok?"

2) Agreed. The best is when someone buys a $35 dollar printer, and 1 year later calls in to let you know that it has stopped working, and expect you to come out and fix it. All the while telling you what a cruddy printer it is.


And as for your special added bonus, If I have to utter the phrase "I apologize for the inconveince" one more time in my life, its going to be followed by a string of ear-melting vulgarity. Luckily, my current job doesnt make me say it.


-Sharing your pain,
Lilosh

[Cubwynn]

"exorbitant"
"aggravation"
sorry, I'm at work, and I have Grammar Intolerance set to FULL.
*mutter something about going home in several hours*


Luckily, I don't get a lot of phone calls. But there are several facilities that will call and ask for "full, up-to-date, raw numbers on our incidents" - despite the fact that they aren't due until the next week, where they will be easily obtainable online.

"Sure, I don't mind completed fubaring my work schedule for the next 2 weeks because one of your lackeys has a wild hair *CENSORED* *CENSORED*." If I wasn't pressured from the other departments here, I would simply say, "sorry, wait until next week, like the other 50 facilities".

[KakarSmakar]

I guess I'm somewhat lucky as I work helldesk, oops, I mean helpdesk for the companies' network. So I don't have folks from the general public calling here. Although, sometimes it seems just as bad. I had a guy call up today that had removed all the permissions to the folders on one of their share drives today. And he wondered why he couldn't access the files.
/bonk user_01

[Heronmarked]

Techsupport.. I've been in it for three years on different companies.. And I have posted every rant I just read on all messageboards I then visited..

And now I'm back to school and you won't believe how much I miss my helpdeskjob.

All I'm saying is, the grass is always greener.... :)


After all that though.. Helpdesk stories still crack me up. :)

[Ramlador]

Well of all the stuff I've ever had to deal with, and all the stuff I've heard other talking about, I think this takes the cake for "support nightmare of the year."

http://www.uq.edu.au/education/extra/all.html

I'd say it's work safe, as long as you don't mind snakes. Be sure to read the text at the top as well as seeing all the pictures.

[Jannelle Silverthorne]

Sorry, cooked snakes aren't a nightmare.

Now arguing with a live snake about his choice to warm his hide in "my" power supply wouldn't be much fun. *grins*

[Varlik]

When I was in San Antonio, we had people that had to come out and check the big equipment areas during the fall/winter time and pull out rattlesnakes from 2 - 5 ft long. Talk about people having a problem working on the equipment after seeing things like that come out.

[Jessamyn Sunweaver]

Well I have a story, I do tech support for a living as well. Here is a small humorous one...

Me: Hello and thank you for calling, this is Shauna, may I start off with your logon name?

Man: *gives logon name*

Me: And what seems to be the problem?

Man: Another student is sending me dirty images through the newsgroup.

Me: *boggle* Alright, which one exactly?

Man: *gives me the information*

Me: *logs in and takes a look, everything looks perfectly clean*

Me: Alright, I don't see anything offensive in the post, can you explain to me exactly how you are coming across this?

Man: Well I open her post and double click on the picture attached. It opens up in something called ACDSee...and when I scroll through I see dirty images! There is even a...interesting...movie in here.

Me: ...please hold a moment while I look at this again

Me: *slams on the mute button and precede to laugh my arse off for 3 minutes* (The guy was browsing his hard drive...)

Me: *calmly unmutes the phone* Sir, it appears that there is no sort of "dirty images" included on that post. What ACDSee is, is an image browsing program, and you are most likely looking at your own hard drive.

Man: Oh, ok. Thanks. *click*

I spent the next 10 minutes after that laughing my butt off again. I think my co-workers thought I had gone insane.


Of course then there is the Dark Side of Tech Support...

I had to call my internet provider one day because my connection was starting to become intermittent (and I have CABLE).

To say the least, I was bounced around between Techs, they sent out repair people 3 times, made me buy new hardware before they finally fixed the issue...which had to do with their cable lines under the streets and nothing to do with my system. Only took a month and a half...

[xaanru]

Lady calls up, elderly, irate, and screaming.

"How dare we show her code for her alarm system in the commercial."

For those of you with alarm systems, please, please, please.. change it from the default of 1234. On the comercial you can easily see the code of 1234 being entered to arm the system and pretty little 0's and 1's flying all about the walls, ceiling, and floors.


Watch the movie Spaceballs.

[wold2]

Heh but the good tech supporter can save us users from certain loss of liberty and perhaps livelihood...
I was stuck in a dirt town in the most southern edge of arizona along the border. This place was NOWHERE. My labtop went crazy and seemingly died...I HAD to be saved... I called tech support 800 number : WOOT they answered , the guy walked me through a system restore, it worked, I had my data, didn't matter that I was in a place where running water qualified for triple stars!!
I'd say if I was in tech support, remember the saves. The techie who actually knows his product and can solve a tough problem is a god send :)